Herbs of her Heart || 𝓒𝓸𝓻𝓭𝓮𝓵𝓲𝓪 𝓖𝓸𝓸𝓭𝓮

𝓛𝓸𝓿𝓮 𝓛𝓮𝓽𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓼

Being secretly in love with my supreme is to much for my heart after keeping it to myself for so long.
But instead telling her, I bleed on paper...like I always do...

Words: 1667

fluff

(⚢) __________________________

"Urghh" I turned in my sheets again. I just couldn't fall asleep, like any of the nights before. Every time I closed my eyes, a certain blonde woman snug back into my mind. Damn how I hate my feelings...

Knowing I wouldn't get any sleep soon I sat up to look at my bedside table. 4.43am, great! Soon I decided to pull the charger out of my phone and to just scroll through my camera roll a bit. I loved to take photos everywhere; anytime. I smiled as I looked through my folder called choosen fam, finding a lot of pictures of Misty, Zoe, Queenie and... Cordelia.

She was my best friend for years, but what she didn't know was that I felt a lot more than any friend could feel for the other. And the fact that she was my best friend and not into girls made it impossible to tell her even though I slowly went crazy. I couldn't think, I couldn't sleep and most of all I couldn't concetrate on any spell. God I'm so fucked...

The screen of my phone flashing black pulled me out of my trance again. See what I mean?
I opened my phone again and remembered the cause of my zoning out.

It was one of my favorite pictures from her birthday last august. We and the girls had been at the lake this day. It had been warm and the most of us had been swimming, exept Delia and me. We had laid on a big towel when Cordelia had suddently started to tiggle my from my bikini exposed tummy. Zoe had been randomly there to shoot the picture I was currently looking at. With me under Cordelia, squirming and laughing tears while Cordelias fingertips were all over my stomach.

I felt a single tear rolling down my cheek. It wasn't the first time I was crying about my silly heart and how much it already belonged to a woman who didn't even want it. Jesus Y/n you're so embarassing...

I needed to cope and the only thing I can do to cope is write it all down...

I got up and put on the fairy lights all over my room before I went to sit at my desk. Paper and pen...
There!
I rummaged through the drawers to find a loose sheet of paper and a dark red pen. Before I knew it my hand let the pen flow over the paper with ease.
I needed to let this out...

.¸¸.✯*'¨*•.¸¸.✯*♡

At 5.37 am i was finally done writing the letter.
I wanted to give it to her but she would hate me...maybe even kick me out of the academy...I can't give it to her. I folded the little sheet of paper two times before putting it in the drawer with my other letters and poetry stuff.

Suddently my door creaked open a bit and Cordelia's nose pocked inside my room. But when she didn't spot me in my bed but at my desk, she suprisingly looked confused.

"Up already Y/n? Mostly you don't get up before 8am?" she asked with the same confusion in her voice.
"I-uhm... couldn't sleep and just started writing something..."
Cordelia pushed herself through the door and closed it afterward.
"Can I see it?" she kindly requested while stepping further into my room. "The writing, I mean"