My boyfriend's ex{MaRina}•completed•

15

Maya,   

 

It's been four weeks, three days, and five hours that we aren't talking anymore. Yes, I'm counting it, and yes I'm sitting down at my table, hand-writing this letter to you. You've done this to me Maya, you've brought out this pathetic, lovesick sap in me.  

 

Why am I not typing this on my new laptop you may ask? Well because, I see this romantic gesture where I write this in my perfected calligraphy, write words of love to you, and as you read it you realize you should forgive me, and you embrace me, you hold me and you don't let go...ever...  

 

Don't you see what you've done to me Maya? For Christ's sake I was THE ICE QUEEN, the unwavering and merciless bitch. I still pretend that I am, but you know better, you know I'm not. Even though I try to hate you, I can't. The moment I lock eyes with you, I melt, I turn into mush. I tried Maya, I tried so hard these past few weeks to hate you, but it's not working.

 

I want to hate you, Maya, because you hate me. I can see it in your eyes, the eyes that once looked at me with care, that sent waves of pleasure and lust through my body, the eyes that comforted me in my darkest moments. It pains me to see you like that because I know I did that to you. I would give anything to see that dazzling smile of yours directed at me. I would give anything just to run my hand through your light tresses again. And most of all I would give anything just to taste those lips of yours.   

 

I want to cry again, Maya now that I'm writing this. My heart is constricting under this unbearable ache because I know I probably won't have you ever again. It's a pain unlike any other, and I want to hate you for inflicting it on me. I want to hate you so much, Maya but I can't. I love you instead, I love you with every heartbeat and every breath I take. Sadly you'll never know it…

 

Always yours,

 

Carina. 

-

Maya put her things in her bag as she finished her classes, sighing. Charlotte, one of the girls from her class, asked her if she was alright. She just nodded her head and mustered a fake smile. This is how Carina must have felt with all of those fake smiles the thought fleeted her mind. Despite trying to think as least as possible of the brunette, Carina would always find a way to creep up into her thoughts.   

"Let's go to our next class"Charlotte called her.  

"Sure but can we go grab something to drink first?" Maya said and the other girl just nodded.

It has been 2 weeks since they have been back from their semester break. Maya moved in with a new roommate this time. She couldn’t possibly bring herself to get close to Carina again. The only contact the two of them have had is whenever they would cross paths with each other and she could see Carina’s eyes were already on her. She couldn't deny, she missed the brunette, she missed her so much. Sometimes she wondered what would've happened if she just didn't push her away on that cold night a month ago. She missed Carina's smell, she missed those rare moments that she would lower her guard only for Maya. She missed her unblemished, soft, alabaster skin. She missed those deep brown eyes that would sparkle with affection only for her. It seemed as if Carina ingrained herself in Maya's very being, and being away from her caused Maya to wither slowly.

This morning they had a really early class to start the day. Maya occupied herself with school, work and practice. She was doing anything to avoid thinking of Carina. Walking down the hallway some people shot her curious glances. Apparently, that slut that was with Owen during the festival, spread the rumor of her and Carina being caught in an embrace. As it usually happens she added some things, just to make it juicier. According to her, they had tongues shoved down each other's throats, and basically ripped each other's clothes apart. Well that would have probably happened if they didn't interrupt them, but that's besides the point.