The Red Devil Bucky Barnes x male reader

just a friend

A few days had past since your conversation with Shuri and so far there had been no mention of any sort of visit or meeting. However you were fully aware that that didn't actually mean anything as the last social interaction you had actually had with a person was those few days ago with your conversation with Shuri.

Nothing too intresting had happened recently, and so far no more life atering memories for you to suddenly remember, to be honest you were quite glad of that as there was still some you were trying to prosses, in fact most of your memories you were still trying to process.

You had the option to talk about them, mainly to either Shuri or Bucky but there was some things that you felt were just better to keep to yourself, if it could endanger you in the past then it could be far worse now. Of course there was still some things you told them, a while back you had remembered you name and soon told Bucky, that then ment they were able to find out other information about you not just the devil but y/n too.

Thats how they manged to find the photo's that now decorated your wall, regardless of the slight sadness you felt they carried.

Shuri chose to not bring up the photos, Bucky however would sometimes hint around the topic of them, clearly hinting for you to speak of them as he didn't know much about them. He was fully aware that the photo containing a woman and child was your mother, but he wasn't sure if the young child was you or the brother that you had mentioned some time ago, but the photo that intrested Bucky the most was the photo of you laughing with another man in matching uniforms, that was the photo you seemed to avoid the most, any mention of it and you seemed to brush it away faster than most topics you avoided, first Bucky assumed it was because if the uniforms, the visible link to the war, but after some time Bucky noticed that the topic of war didn't seem to faze you, yet the photo did, meaning it wasn't war that made the photo an uncomfortable topic, who was the man stood with his arm over your shoulder in that photo why wouldn't you talk about him?, what happened?

It was the evening when you were interrupted by a knock on the door, your room engulfed in a slowly dimming golden light as the sun began to disappear into the night, you were in the middle of cooking some noodles for you dinner, before you had even turned to answer the door you already knew who was stood on the other side of it, of course it was Bucky, it made perfect sense, the pattern and speed he knocked the door and how long it had been since he had last seen you

"Open!"

The sound of the old door opening mixed with the sounds of a gas cooker and the sound of noodles boiling in water filled the room, then the sounds of the door closing and Bucky walking across the room to the table

"Did i come at a bad time?"

"No"

Pulling two bowls out of a cupboard with some cutlery you then dished the noodles before placing both bowls on the table and taking a seat in frount of Bucky

"Do you always make this amount then?"
Bucky broke the silence as he began to eat the noodles

"What do you mean?"

" whenever im here at this time your always about to eat and you always have enough for another person to eat with you, how do you know im going to turn up?"

You paused for a second and looked up at him from your food

"I don't"

" then why-"

"Habit"

The room then fell once more into silence as you both ate more of your food

"Did you cook alot then, before?"

There was another moment of silence before you answered

"Sometimes- "

There was a brief pause and an almost fond look crept onto your face

"Only on certain days, i had certain days"

"Who did you cook for?"

"First it was my mother and brother, once they both died it was just me for a short while, then a friend moved in with me for a while,-"

Then the look of fondness left your face and was replaced by some other emotion that Bucky couldn't place

"Then we would take it in turns to cook"

"Who was your friend?"

Suddenly you head shot up from your food and your shoulders tensed the sound of your fork hitting the bowl as you let it go into your food

"Why?"
Suddenly your tone was harsher than before, defensive

"Why what?"
Bucky pressed further

"Why do you need to know?"

" i was only asking, why are you so defensive about this friend of yours?"

" I'm not"

"Do you remember them"

"Some, enough"

"You can tell me, i might understand"

"There's nothing to understand, i lived with a friend for a short while, don't room mates still exist"

"Yes they still do, i never thought there was anything odd about it at all"

" well there we are then"

The room was then once again filled with silence

" how long were you room mates for?"

" a few months, but we both stayed at each others home often before, we were childhood friends"

"What happened"

Then suddenly the emotion in your eyes were readable for a split second, they were filled with sorrow

" the same that happens to us all"
And as the words left your mouth for a short moment you eyes wondered to the photo of you both on the wall

" you fought together in the war?"

"Till death"

"I'm sorry for your loss"

And suddenly the loss felt fresh once more, no one had ever shown any empathy towards your lover's death, you had never spoken of him nor had you ever been able to refer to him as your lover and just at the thought there was some kind of shame that managed to mix with the sorrow just enough to make you feel as though a knife had stabbed you in the stomach and suddenly your eyes squeezed shut tightly as if it would some how protect your from the harsh reality

He was dead

And you would never be able to mourn his death they way someone would their lover, because no one could ever know thats who he was to you, he could be no more than a friend

"Red?"

"Red?"