The Lies

March 18th 2023

March 18th ,
The day was going a bit calmer than most of my days, I had finished my exams the other day and was waiting for my results eagerly with my mom, i was also thinking about how i was gonna spend my holidays all alone at home with nothing to do except play genshin all day but oh well , it was only for a few weeks i could manage or so i thought

I knew i should have suspected something was wrong when i came back home with not only my mom but also a friend of hers and i probably should have confirmed my suspicion when i was informed my dad was coming home early from work but i just shrugged everything off and that was the biggest mistake of my life.

I was sat down at 6:30 pm to talk about something and i just thought since I'm entering a very imp grade this year maybe they wanted to talk to me about it but a part of me was sure what they wanted to talk about and turns out i was right but i wasnt right entirely ... What awaited me could have never been expected and i never thought it would impact me this much but it did in the end

I never wanted any of this to happen nor did i wish for any of this bit alas fate has a way of fucking you up doesn't it

I thought i was in one of those disgustingly sweet , cringey (in a good way) and short lived high school relationship but oh god i wish i was pronounced dead the moment i was born i had trusted people i shouldn't have and i was now facing the ultimate consequences, i knew this would happen someday but today was not the day i expected, i was not ready at all today

Of course everything had been blamed on me, and when i tried to voice out my protest and my anger i was shut down by people i love saying 'get over it' can I? So soon? So what i just forgive and forget like the fucking saints no i dont forgive and forget all i needed was a reason and fucking closure and none of the people i trusted could give me that.. None

All they said was "it's ok" "The fault was on both of your side" "Just get over it" "Don't let this fuck you up" Then what am i supposed to do? Just let someone blame shit on me and let them use my name however they wanted, I'll get straight to the point i was blamed for shit i didn't do. This story was written just to express my anger because guess what no one fucking knows how to deal with me

I got blamed for forcing someone into a relationship even if i didn't , i got accused of grooming even if i didn't and i was accused of kissing someone Forcedly even though they gave me consent i was blamed for all this and my mom's way of raising me was insulted and shamed on by some random person whom i once respected and i was left all alone when i needed that one person i thought i loved to back me up.

The person i thought i knew was the same person that gave me away for shit i didn't do , same person that changed the whole story when i had asked them and when their family had asked them just so they could be safe and honestly, a hit from truck-kun would have better than that. And all these lies just to cover up more lies .

All i had asked for was answers to questions that i deserved to know but i was named a forcing and manipulative asshole , an asshole that wanted to know why my own said love would lie to me about loving me, receiving an answer from them saying they were confused if they loved me Or not was fine but lying to all our other friends about me asking them out when they had asked me out was not fine. When asked about they simply shrugged causing my heart to shatter from shards to pieces and then pieces to dust.

The audacity to lie about me doing something i didn't do was fucked up,to blame me for shit was immature and to insult my mom's way of raising me was being a bitch. I had admitted my part of the story i agreed to stuff i did do and i disagreed to stuff i didn't do when THEY blamed it all on me.

I was forced to come out, forced to put a label on my orientation when i wasnt ready and my privacy was violated for all the truth to be revealed and the harm done to my body had already been done. I'll agree that the scars were due to old painful memories and holding onto people i should have let go all those years ago but damn i wanted to cause more harm .. To myself to everyone around me because the emotions i am feeling are so raw and painful, i feel exposed when in front of my parents and i know they want the best for me but all that could have been done without invading my privacy

Some people might say they're your parents they should know stuff but NO knowing stuff when being told is different and finding out stuff when you shouldn't is being a fucking nosy bitch, i don't go around peeping through what fucked up shit you do Or shit you watch.you know i wish i could have said no when asked out and i wish i had not harmed myself but whats done is done isn't it? People tell people to get over way worse problems than this but here i am whining about my lame problem.
They might have been scared but even when scared I never blamed others and i never gave away someone's dignity even if i lose my own.
I just wished that people would stop saying they are on both the sides even if one side is rotten.. Rotten and poisoned to the core so rotten you might just get yourself killed.

And i never forced any of my friends to break their friendship with 'them' to be on my side i dont want anyones pity I'll just drown in my own sorrow and I'll trust those i should. But there's still a part of me that wants to just let go , maybe letting go would take all the pain away.

If you have read all this I'm sorry for the spelling errors i wrote this with the sole purpose of getting everything out of me and i did not make this up but at the same time if you have your own opinions on this problem kindly keep it to yourself.

If you are here to tell me to get over it or move on or "you both can still be friends" I'm asking you to fuck yourself politely ☺.

And pls don't accuse me of making this shit up pls this was a real life experience and i will not tolerate getting blamed again and it won't be my fault if you receive a fuck you dm for blaming me again ☹️