Hidden Love (Tronnor fanfiction)

~40~ Talking

Sage's POV (whoop whoop this is new. You guys probably don't share my enthusiasm but oh well I don't care.)

"Yes." I heard Connor say at the other side of the line. I knew he was going to say it. I thought he would say it with more doubt though. This just shows how much Troye means to him. He didn't even need to think about the question even though Troye said to me that he did something horrible, that he fucked up. I guess Connor's feelings are stronger than that, I hope he is strong enough and willing enough to forgive Troye.

I covered the phone with my hand to speak to my brother. I didn't want Connor to hear this.

"Troye did you hear that?" I shouted excitedly at him.

"He loves you. You should fight for him. Don't give up on love Troye. That's not how I know you." I said to the boy that was currently laying in fetus form on his bed. His eyes bloodshot, his limbs trembling, irregular sobs coming from his mouth. He was a mess, to say at least.

"I fucked up Sage. This is not something I can fix again." He whispered whilst looking me in the eyes. His eyes were no longer shining. They seemed lifeless with all the red surrounding the blue that no longer looked blue.

"Troye at least talk to him." I tried, but that was of course a failed attempt. Troye was not going to talk to Connor. He will probably try to forget about him. I know that won't work though. I've seen how much he loves Connor. The way he looks at him, with those eyes sparkling full of love. The way the corners of his lips went up whenever he was nearby or whenever he talked about him. There's no denying and everyone could see it that Troye is really in love even though he tries not to be right now. Love is not something you can just shove away. Those feelings will always haunt you and I don't want Troye to cry his eyes out for much longer. It's a pain to see him like this.

I went to my room, the phone still in my hand.

"You still there?" I asked Connor. To my surprise he was because he answered with a yes.

"Connor I don't know what Troye has said to you, all I know is that he regrets everything. He says he fucked up, fucked up for nothing. That he has done something horrible to you. He keeps repeating that under his breath. He's scared Connor, scared of what's going on with you. He loves you, that's clear to me. He's heartbroken and that because of something he did himself. All I know is that he wanted the best for you. He thought you could live a better life with someone who lived closer to you. Someone who could really be there for you. I don't know how you think about it, but I know Troye can't handle the long distance. He tries to deny it. He tries to say it's better for you, but in reality he's just scared, scared of losing you or losing his family. He's just one scared little boy who needs help, who needs love and I know you can give him that if you want."

What followed was silence. Then the sound of a sob. Connor was crying.

"I w-ant to help him, I really do, but I don't think he wants to be helped." He got out between sobs.

"I know he doesn't. He's the helper and helpers never get helped, but it's time for us to change that."

"Sage... I will try. I will try as hard as I can to work this out. I'll figure something out. I'm not sure I have the power to convince him, but I can try. If you never try, you'll never know right?" He said uncertainty showing in his voice.

"Connor I really do hope you can find something to change his mind. I can't look at him like this. He's an emotional wreck right now."

I'm not sure if it will be easy to change Troye's mind. He's a stubborn boy. If he thinks this is the best, you can't say it's not because once he has something in his mind, it stays there. There's no way to make him clear he's wrong. This is not the best for Connor neither is it for him. He just needs to realize that. How can he not see that being hurt like this isn't the best?

"Just look out for Troye okay?" Connor said. "He doesn't deserve this pain. He's too hard for himself." That's all he said to me before he hung up the phone. All I thought was, he doesn't deserve the pain either. Both boys are so kind and amazing, it's so horrible that they have to go through this and that all because of doubts and overthinking. That's something they both seem to be good at. They are just too scared to loose people and that results in exactly losing the ones they love. The world can be so cruel and sad sometimes.

I went back to Troye. He was still laying on the exact same place as when I left. The only difference now was that he was full on crying.

"Troye?" I asked quietly whilst sitting down next to him. I wanted to ask him what was wrong, but I stopped myself. I know exactly what is wrong with him so it would be stupid to ask him. I know that asking someone what's wrong makes it even worse.

"Can I get you something to eat?" I asked him. Compassion showing in my voice.
"I'm not hungry." He whispered.
"Something to drink then?" I asked.
"No thank you Sage. I don't need anything." He said, turning around to face me.
"You can't starve yourself Troye."
"I'm not starving myself." He said, not convincing at all.

"Troye don't be too hard on yourself." I said giving him a tight hug. When I loosened the hug Troye immediately pulled me closer. He was holding me so tight, there was no way I was getting out of this. To be fair I didn't even want to. It was nice to have him this close.

"Sage thank you for being here." He cried out.

"Where else would I be, you're my brother." I reminded him. I would never want to be anywhere else.

"Just never leave me Sage." He whispered, still holding me close.

"I would never do that. Not even if you asked me to."

Troye suddenly loosened his grip on me, staring at me with wide eyes. It almost seemed like I said something wrong.

"He said he would only leave me if I told him to, but he didn't when I told him. He only did because I said horrible things to him and even now he said he loves me. I don't get it Sage. I don't get him. He's too good for me. I never deserved him in my life." He said, confusion clear on his face.

"Troye don't say that. You deserved him in your life, you still deserve him. You're a good person too, sometimes you just try to be too good."

"I don't know anymore. I don't know anything. I'm so confused Sage." He said his hands shaking.

I took his hands in mine, rubbing my thumb over his hand.

"Just try to have some rest." I whispered, giving a quick peck on his forehead. I stood up holding is hand as long as possible until I had to let it go.

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A/n

Sorry for the wait. I have exams so I'm one busy human being right now. I have English tomorrow so let's say that this is practise :p Also sorry that this chapter isn't very long.

Hope you like the update anyways :) There will probably be two more chapters after this. I don't know when I'll update though because I have exams until 23 June.

BYExxx