College Life

“Good morning, world. It’s Isannah; you know the one who always seems to have another embarrassing story each week. Well, surprisingly, this week actually went really well. Nothing interesting happened, unless forgetting my essay, once again, or forgetting to prepare for exams is interesting.” Sighing, Isannah rolled her favorite pink pen between her fingers.

“As you can tell, I should be working on my paper, but I just love you guys so fucking much that I couldn’t bear to post my vlog a day late. I’m failing school for all of you bitches!” With a grin, Isannah dropped her textbook onto the ground and pulled her hair into a messy ponytail.

“Let’s get down to business,” Isannah said to her laptop, “As you can tell by my lack of tweeting, I have actually been socializing. Yes, I, Isannah Lawrence, made a new friend this week.  I guess it’s nice to get out of my dormitory sometimes and just explore the outside world. It’s pretty damn scary if you ask me, but at least I’m somewhat normal now.”

Grabbing the coffee mug from her bedside table, Isannah took a slow sip before placing it back down. “Sorry, I’m quite tired today. I know I probably shouldn’t be drinking coffee because I will be passed out in several hours. Anyways, I’m getting off topic. How does one go from talking about socializing to her coffee addiction? Was I even talking about my coffee addiction?”

Running her fingers through her ponytail Isannah grumbled, “I completely forgot what I was saying.” A few swear words followed, but as soon as she remembered the words she had said before her little break, she began to babble on and on again.

“This girl that I recently met and began socializing with has way too many friends. She invited me to go Hoppie’s Diner with a bunch of her other friends. I mean honestly how I am supposed to remember twenty fucking names? Some of those people are going to be pretty upset when they find out that I have no clue who they are. I feel a little bit bad.” Reaching over for her mug once more Isannah downed the rest of the cup.

“Coffee is so amazing, but I refuse to obsess over coffee again, I need to stick to this story. So, while I was on my way to Hoppie’s I was literally having a panic attack. I don’t know how to socialize with people who are actually right in front of me. I call myself socially awkward, but according to my fried back in New York, I’m a social vegetable. Which is apparently worse, I guess. Therefore, this adventure was so scary. I didn’t know any of these people, but I definitely need friends. I’ve already been at university for over a month and I have hardly talked to anyone.”

A blush began to form on Isannah’s cheeks as began, “So, when I got there, I find Jayme Lynn and she was sitting at this big ass table right in the center of Hoppie’s surrounded by people. Then, I go to walk over there and say “Hi,” but I forgot how to talk. I legitimately forgot how to talk. I’m standing there in front of a bunch of people completely underdressed and stuttering like a retard. It was even more awkward when I noticed this extremely adorable boy sitting towards the head of the table. He was so freaking attractive and I just wanted to die. It wasn’t exactly the worst moment in my life, but it was pretty embarrassing. Oh, and just a fair warning, I won’t be updating next Wednesday, I’m going to a party. That’s right bitches, more awkward socializing for me. Oh what a joy.”

Isannah blew a kiss to the camera and said, “I love all of my lovely subscribers, and for those of you who aren’t subscribed should click this little button.  Have a great week, and hopefully you will be seeing another vlog on Thursday since I’m having to reschedule.” Isannah ended her fourth vlog and began to  edit it. She hoped to have it rendered and posted by tomorrow morning.

Closing her laptop, Isannah shuffled towards the mini fridge hoping to find that she hadn’t finished off the strawberries and that there might possibly be a Diet Coke as well. Unfortunately, her fridge had nothing in it. “Looks like I have to go to the store.” She muttered to herself, “Maybe I could rent a movie while I’m out.”

Procrastinating was always easier when you had a movie to watch and some junk food to get fat off of. Marching out of her room without brushing her hair or teeth, Isannah prayed that everyone would be hanging out with friends or maybe working on an essay.

Much to her luck, only several people were wandering the corridors, and they seemed to care less about what Isannah was doing. As she finally reached the doors she quickly sprinted out shielding her eyes from the smoldering sun. “I fucking hate nature!” Isannah shouted her voice cracking as she began to gasp for air.

“I hate running too.” Isannah breathed as she collapsed. Glaring at the people who shot her funny looks, she decided to yell at them as well, “I hate all of you too. It’s not nice to stare at a physically challenged being. Maybe you should run along and just forget about my existence again.”

Is it possible to buy a filter or some other shit for your brain? I never think about anything before I say it. I don’t understand, when I shouldn’t be talking I always ramble on and on about random junk, but when I should say something I can’t even say “Hi.” There is seriously something wrong with me. Isannah thought to herself before asking the nearest student to help her up off the ground. All she wanted to do was safely arrive at CVS without being stared at strangely. Was that too much to ask for?