The Devils Inside Of Us

Part One: The Things You Want To Forget

I remember when I was five and my mother said be careful what you wish for, if only I actually listened.
"who do you think you are walking around here" said Max the head of the schools bullys.
"I'm going home" I said
"oh yeah or so you think" Max says as he throws me against the brick wall.
Goddammit I'm so fucking close. Why couldn't they wait till tomorrow I need to get home now. The second hand hits the twelve making it four o'clock and I can already feel the pain. My heads spinning the pain of being hit in the head added to my already excruciating headache. I hate this time of day I loose all control my mind goes blank and he shows up; "the monster"; "the devil himself" or as I like to call him the pain in my ass. The pain in my head reaches the worst it can and "he" comes out.
"Um, hello you big ugly cunt. Would you mind getting your damn hands off of me?" I ask Max with a smug look on my face.
With that I sealed my fate. I'm going to get in another fight. I hope this time I don't really hurt him.
"Oh yeah or what? Huh? You going to hit me? Or are you going to run home and cry to your mother." Max taunts as he grabs me by my throat lifting me off the ground.
"Or this is going to happen," I grab Max's head and slam it into the wall. As he falls to the ground, blood drips to the ground forming a small pool of blood. I let loose and kick him and kick him until there's blood all over my favorite pair of pants. Max's friends pull me off and drag Max away from me; all the while I have a big smile on my face. I start to walk home. I start to try and get the blood off of my knuckles while getting random looks from people who I simply don't care about. I decide to go home two hours later but of course mother dearest isn't home; she's probably off getting fucked in some alleyway. I open the door to my house and turn on the lights. This house is such a mess. Condoms and needles filled with random things I don't even want to know scatter the floor. It reminds me of a damn whore house. I go to the bathroom to splash water on my face but of course the bitch didn't pay the water bill. I turn and face the mirror and what I see is my body but not my face. It's his face. And its covered with Max's blood with a evil smile on his face.
"Hey, other me, would you mind slitting our wrists for me? Come on, you know you want to. No one loves you; no one will care if you die." "He" tempts me with a large grin on his face. I think to myself thats he's right; no one would care. But I don't want to die; there's still so much left for me to do. I walk out of my bathroom to see my mother walking in with her hair messed up and smelling of beer and weed.
"Hey, James, come over here and help me to the couch." Her words slur as she's stumbling towards me. She looses her balance and starts to fall. I step to side and hear the crack of her head hitting the wood floor.
I step over her but not before she pisses her pants.
"Disgusting bitch," I say in unison with "him". Our hatred for her is the one thing we agree on; that and Claire, the school's idol, is the hottest girl alive. I walk in my room and strip down in front of my mirror. My body is full of scars some made by others most made by "him". I take my pants off and throw them in the hamper. That's the fourth pair this month I'm running out. I lay down and put on my headphones and start to play music. I don't know why but "he" loves metal and when I have it playing is the only way I can get some peace and quiet. I close my eyes and think about my past. I was a sick baby so my father had to work alot of jobs so he never had any rest. That caused him to get sick and die a few years after I was born. That's around the time "he" showed up and ever sense then my life has been nothing but pain. I open my eyes and look at my arms there covered in scars and fresh cuts. I count them; forty in total I remember each one. None of which I wanted and all where made by "him". I close my eyes again and let the gentle embrace of sleep wash over me. The dream is the same as always; me in a dark room with "his" voice echoing in the background. It's the same as always; "his" constant reminder that no one loves me. I wake up with the sound of my front door closing. My mom always does this; she gets up
and slams the door waking me up. I open my eyes and check my phone to find out I'm an hour earlier than I usually get up but I still need to get up. I stand up and put on my clothes on and walk out of my house. When I open my door I come across Claire walking. She notices me and comes and says hi.
"I didn't know you lived here James" she says while looking me up and down.
"Yeah, unfortunately. I hope to leave soon but that's just a dream." I say while walking. We walk and talk halfway to school when max and his friends show up and pushes me up against the wall.
"Hey Claire, what are doing with this freak?" Max snarls as he puts his arm over her.
"He's not a freak! He's different and I like that" Claire groans while trying to push max off.
"You like freaks huh? Come with me and let me show you just how much of a freak I can be." Max says leaning in to kiss Claire. With this Claire starts to cry and scream begging to be let go. "He" starts to scream "Kill him! Kill him right now! Do not let him touch our princess!" Max is a millisecond away from kissing Claire and she's fliping out tears flowing down her cheeks like waterfalls. I can't stand it anymore. I can't just sit here and watch as she gets forced to kiss max. So I tell "him" "Do it; just do it. Just please don't go overboard." "He" laughed as I closed my eyes and let him take over.
"Get the fuck away from her before I slit your throat!" I yell while grabbing Max's shirt yanking him away from Claire.
"Who the fuck-" Max starts to say but gets interrupted as I punch him. One punch and he's on the ground. I get on top of him and continue punching his face as hard as I can. His blood starts to get on my hands after I land a punch on his nose. Max's friends pull me off; throwing me a good foot away from him. I land hard hitting my head hard on the sidewalk causing me to pass out. When I wake I wake up on top of a bed. The moment I feel the heat of the house I know I'm not home. I look down and see I'm shirtless and am only wearing my boxers. "What happened? Did I get laid? I hope she's not ugly." I say laughing for a second but stop because the moment I do, I get a severe pain in my head and I cry out in pain.
"You shouldn't be moving and laughing you have a serious concussion." Claire scolds; walking into the room.
"Where am I and why am I in my boxers"? I ask pulling up the sheets so she won't see the scars. She sits down next to me pulling the sheets away. She takes a second and looks at each and every cut. I can feel each stare as she goes over ever cut.
Great she must think I'm even more of a freak and she must be thinking I'm such a little bitch for doing this. I say to myself trying to hide as best I can.
"I'm not judging you and I don't think your weak. I'm just really worried that your going to do something and get really hurt." She says pulling me close; reaching around me pulling me closer then anyone ever has. I grab her hand and free myself. I can't get close to her; I can't get close to anyone; all I do is hurt people.
"I don't know what you think you're doing but you shouldn't be around me. So , bye." I say getting up.
She grabs my arm, "Please don't leave me. You're the only one who I feel I can relate to." She says while starting to cry.
Ha, this funny. The schools queen is having a hard life. What a bunch of bull she doesn't know what it means to have a hard life, I think to myself sardonically.
"Why do you think you can relate to me?" I ask still trying to get free and not really caring.
"Because of these," She pulls up her sleeves revealing scars not from cuts but from burns. I always wondered why she always wore long sleeves even during summer; but I never thought it would be because of this.