Depressed Thoughts

Let me go

she doesn't know what she is talking about
I thought I liked her but she is just like everyone else
Why did he do that
Why did he yell at me
But it's not my mistake
No one is there
No one is left
I am sorry for being so weak
I am sorry for not fighting hard enough
I am sorry for disappointing you
And I am sorry for enjoying my life
I am sorry for leaving you...
I don't think I can do this anymore
This is the last straw
I hate my life
I am a good-for-nothing excuse for a human being
I have lost all my validation
So please let me go....
I don't think I can do this anymore
I just had a panic attack for absolutely no reason
Let me go..
Let me go...
Let me go....
Just let me go
My life is so sad
No one understands me
I couldn't breathe
I couldn't talk
I hate myself for being so weak
I hate myself for losing it
I hate myself for defending myself I hate myself for..... everything
But most importantly I hate you for everything you have done to me
The look she gave me once of adoration turned to hatred.

--

AN-

This was me spewing my thoughts after experiencing my first-ever panic attack. Growing up in a household where mental health is practically the last thing that is ever discussed I didn't understand its importance and how fucked up I was in the head. So these are basically all my thoughts that I want to share with someone but can't during my lowest points.

Guys, please don't be like me and reach out if you feel that you can relate to any of these. Please, feel free to PM me if you want to talk about mental health or just anything in general.

Moreover, this is my first book so please give me feedback and don't leave rude comments directed towards me or anyone. Also, please vote and comment as much as possible.

Yours,

Spencer.