"Dean??" Castiel asked as he saw his face in the reflection in a mirror of a car Castiel sat in. He turned around to the empty seat. Castiel couldn't handel the pain of loosing someone he love dearly
"Please!! Oh god please!!" Castiel whimpered as he pushed that bottle to his mouth, trying to numb the pain. Castiel was sitting in Dean's Impala, he found comfort in the old car with all of Dean's smells and memories. Castiel turned on the radio and of course it was on Dean's favorite rock station and it was playing "Wish you were here" by pink Floyd. Castiel knew the words because Dean would play it over and over.
"Soo soo you think you can tell heaven from hell!! Blue skies from pain!!!...do you think you can tell!!!...how I wish how I wish you were here!!! we're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl!!!....WISH YOU WERE HERE!!!" Castiel sang out and sobbed at the tittle name.
"Oh Dean, I wish you were here" he continued to sob and drink. Then "Landslide" by fleetwood mac came on.
"Cuz i've build my life around you!!!" Castiel cried out with Stevie Nicks.
"Dean, I build my life around you. I can't do this without you" He cried out.
"I can't believe you're gone. I...I watched you die in my arms. I saw you pull that damn trigger. The same one i'm going to..." Castiel put the same gun to his head and closed his eyes.
"It's you, it's all for you. Everything I do" Castiel whimpered.
"Dean, please! Only you can stop me" he sobbed quietly. Castiel started up the Impala and drove away from Bobby's junkyard. He turned up the radio all the way to hear the songs Dean loved so much. With his one hand on the wheel the other gripping the bottle. As he drove pass a gas station he thought he saw Dean and turned around.
"DEAN!!!" he screamed out as he got out the car. There he was Dean was standing in front of Castiel. Castiel grabbed Dean and pulled him into a hug. Dean held on tightly.
"But how?? I saw you!!" Castiel asked.
"I wasn't taken away so I followed you and I saw what you were going to do. Let's just say Death gave me a choice and here I am." Dean explained as he tighten his grip. Castiel was overwhelmed with emotions, pain, anger, happiness and so much love. Castiel punched Dean's face after he let go.
"Ouch!...I guess I deserve that" Dean looked away from Castiel. Castiel lifted Dean's face and quickly kissed him without thinking.
"I read the letter...let me take that pain away." Castiel held Dean's hand.
"The pain is too much, I don't want you to feel that pain" Dean looked into Castiel's eyes.
"Well it can't be worst then loosing you. I love you Dean. I should have told you sooner but I didn't know that you were going to kill yourself. Dammit Dean! I had your gun pressed against my head and something told me to drive." Castiel started to cry.
"Cas...I'm sorry" Dean held Castiel tightly.
"Let's bring you home" Castiel handed the keys to Dean and let him drive to Bobby's place.
"DEAN!! DAD!!!!!" Ben scream when he looked at the door and saw his Dad walk in.
"DEAN!! We have some talking to do!" Bobby added in.
"Yes, we do. I'm so very sorry everyone" Dean apologized.
"Boy, be thankful i'm not going to shoot your ass!!" Bobby pulled Dean into his arms.
"I love you Bobby" Dean whispered and held him a little bit longer.
"Dad, I love you and i'm here for you" Ben hugged Dean after.
"I could get use to the sound of that, Dad, I'm not leaving you like that ever again bud" Dean held Ben tightly. Ben wouldn't let him go.
"I love you Ben" Dean told his son.
After a long day of talking things through with everyone Dean wanted some alone time with Cas.
"Goodnight Dean" Cas started to walk to his room. Dean grabbed his arm and swung him back.
"Can we talk?" Dean asked with his face softened but serious.
"Yes, I think we need to" Cas agreed and followed Dean to Dean's room.
"Dean, you saw me and you still did it. You say you love me but you won't let me in" Cas started to get off his chest.
"You looked at me, YOU LOOKED AT MY SOUL AND SAID BYE!" Cas yelled at Dean.
"I know i'm suppose to be all nice and walking on glass so you don't go into the darkness again but I can't. Did you ever think about how you effected us?? At all?? You were 'dead' for 10 months!!!" Cas continued to freak out. Dean stood there looking down at the floor ashamed of what he did.
"If you can look at me before you shoot yourself you can look at me anytime. Don't hide your face from me now" Cas started off rough then calmed down. He reached out and lifted Dean's face. Cas cupped Dean's face in his hands.
"Cas, I am so very sorry. Everything I did to you was awful. I deserve hell for what I did. Cas, I love you so much. I regret not telling you sooner. You are truly wonderful" Dean told Cas as he stared into his electric blue eyes.
"I love you too. Just talk to me. I want to to tell me what you are going through." Cas couldn't stay mad at Dean. Dean smiled softly before wrapping his arms around Cas' waist and pulling them closer. Cas kissed Dean and loved to the taste of him. Dean deepened the kiss and pulled Cas to bed.
"Stay with me?" Dean asked as he has Cas laying on the bed with Dean above him.
"Yes, i'll stay with you" Castiel smiled and kissed him quickly. Castiel pulled Dean down to him and continued kissing him.
The two fell asleep together and slept peacefully. Dean was first to wake and smiled at the sight of Cas in the morning. Cas was holding Dean all night. Dean decided to go back to sleep and stay in his love's arms.
Author's note:
TA-DA! Hope you enjoyed the Darkness parts. If you want I could go into what Dean went through.
