Midnight Musings: Proses and Poetry

6

A fearful end of an encounter

I sat alone on the cold, hard bench, watching as the other girls laughed and played together. Their voices echoed through the empty courtyard, taunting me with their happiness. I couldn't bring myself to join them.

I was afraid of getting close to others, of letting them see my flaws and imperfections. Because I knew that eventually, there would be conflicts. There would be misunderstandings, disagreements, and hurt feelings. And I feared that these things would push my friends away, leaving me alone once again.

But what terrified me the most was the thought of them talking about me behind my back. Whispering cruel things about me, criticizing my every move, my flaws and revealing my deepest, darkest secrets to the world. The idea of it made my heart pound with fear.

So I stayed on the sidelines, keeping my distance from others and keeping my guard up. It was lonely, but at least it was safe. Or so I thought.

My world came crashing down around me as I realized that my worst nightmare could become a harsh reality. And as I sat alone on that cold, hard bench, I couldn't help but wonder if I had been better off staying on the sidelines, alone and safe from the pain of betrayal.

It has been a gloomy week for me
Having these thoughts every night
Made my mind go blank
And wanted to protect myself even more.

— Sterling Frost