Random One-shots

Part 1

So this is a bit dark, just a quick warning. It's just a random bit of writing I did at 2 am :)

_ _ _ _

I'm drowning again. I wonder if it ever gets any easier. Drowning's the wrong word. Not drowning, suffocating. I can never get enough air in, everything is crashing. Again. There's a strong breeze, crisp, chilling, reminding me I'm alive. I think. I don't really feel alive. I should though. Right? That's how it's supposed to work. The ground is dry, fresh and crumbling over the ledge, falling, spiralling through the air. Maybe...

It's peaceful up here, there's enough of a rift between here and everything that I can almost forget, drift among the dirt swirling in the air. I'm dying. There's a great oak not far behind me, the shade from its branches protecting me from sunburn, such a big blue sky. I do love a blue sky, so endless, so limitless, so empty.

I'm empty again. Like a big blue sky. I take another step forwards. I can see over the edge now to what lays beyond, an immense expanse of cobalt, dancing in serene rage, reaching up with its thick white fingers towards the cliff face. So inviting. Maybe...

The wind beckons me forward, my name whispering from its lips in a slow drawl, "Come" it tempts, "Come see, come look." I take another step forwards. Pebbles and rocks collide with the mass below, my weight disrupting the balance. More dirt dances now. "Follow my lead, fall with me." The sun hits my face, warmth spreading over my nose, my eyes, my cheeks. I close my eyes and glance up at the sky. I smile. So peaceful.

The forest rattles as the wind sighs, I'm taking too long. But it's so calm. Just five more minutes. A blackbird sings behind me, "Hurry," he mocks, "Yes, so long," another agrees. I take another step forwards. There's not much room left now. So little time. My toes tingle with the anticipation of it, the thrill of the flight, the joy of the end. The silence. The silence is all I really need. I'll deal with the rest. Maybe...

The final step was easy, dropping into nothing. The wind ecstatic through my hair, the ocean eager below me and I'm soaring with them. It must have only been a second, the fall, it felt like years. Years and years. My entire life bottled up into a moment of pure euphoria, pure freedom, pure humanity. And then I'm colliding too. Now I am drowning. But it's ok. The difference between the pure white of the sunlight and the pure black of the sea is jarring, I welcome it though, with the darkness comes the silence. I need the silence. I crave it more than any drug, beyond that of anything I can describe. My very soul begs for it. Such silence now. Yes...