Hi there to my friends, associates, co-workers, loved ones, exes and any-one I may have missed. I writing this not as a letter of pleading or not one of regret but I think every-one of you deserve to know the very truth that is Anson Alexander or at least the truth of the past couple years of my life.
It started a few years ago while I was still in Secondary school, I'm unsure what it really was and no-one could tell me what was happening to me, I myself couldn't tell. Now I attended Belmont Boy's Secondary School and for those of you who do not know only boys selected from the top of the class could get in to this school, well that was at least back then. School was never something for me but for some strange reason I had a gift for it or was it just the information. Processing information was everything for me, thinking about something down to its last molecule to find out exactly how it works and manipulating it to make the result I wanted.
Unfortunately the only thing that fuelled me was literature, the stories and how they played out fascinated me and that's where things got dangerous not for me but for every-one that was around me. I was and under achiever but for a strange reason my name was well remember by every-one I came into contact with. I never placed myself in the life of people, I was always distant and strange to people because I had one gift (Profiling) I could tell some-one a lot about themselves or where they were heading within mere moments of a conversation with them. This would become the factor that would rule my entire life but the one thing that troubled me was female profiling. I would be able to tell everything I needed to know about a woman but would still pick the work in progress maybe because it was more challenging. Why have a woman who already has an empire when you can have one you can build one with.
At least this was my thinking at first but with my knowledge in profiling and extent knowledge of literature I could make anything possible, I could create my perfect story after all what I wanted was a family far different to the one I belonged in after all I was the black sheep of the family and no-one understood me, feeling like the unwanted one or like I just never belonged. It is said that a man is determined by is happiness not his wealth, not his clothes, but by the happiness he shows at home, work, out with friends or just out on the street. An unhappy man is an unstable man, a man that would do anything for a piece of mind. I was that unhappy man searching for that stability but I decided since I couldn't find it them I would create it, I would create my happiness, my world but I needed players for the game where was I going to find these unwilling participants and make them a part of this chess game I was about to play.
The answer was simple. I was in Secondary school all I had to do was fit the profile and where better to find it; school is where every profile is created this is where every-one decided what they want to become and if there is a slight change to the plan, the decisions are also change, this does not say it will stop the person from become who they want, it just takes them on a detour the outcome is still up to them but for as long as the plan keeps changing the long it takes them and the more difficult it makes it for them to get there but this was never my intention in any way I just needed to have the right players on my side. Like the game of chess the king (me) is the most important piece, the queen (unknown) is the strongest piece, the rooks and bishops (friends) are the protectors, the knights (often the one that doesn't fit the group, some-one aggressive and outright mainly some-one high in authority, a teacher, principal or some-one influence) this is the fighter by extension protecting the protectors and the pawns (these are the miscellaneous people in your life) they just play a role until the role is finished.
I guess finding them were the difficult of the most of part but it's funny that when you ask for something you most of the time get exactly what you ask for and then some. I found my pieces to fit my profile and that's when all went crazy. I created the profile, the characters and still lost the game every time. Year after year the game ended the same way, me sitting and creating a new strategy. Then that day came, the day that I play the game with-out flaw what-ever I decided the out-come of the game was it was. Funny thing was most people thought they made the decisions and they knew the out-come of what was to happen but the truth was they were off the mark, I had the pieces and I controlled the game.
For the rest of my school years I had what I wanted, I couldn't ask for more but things got boring because the game wasn't long term and the queen always changing. My game wasn't about having any girl I want it was about family, it was about having something long term but fitting that profile wasn't easy, I had good girls but not ones that were long term, either they would leave or I would it just wasn't feeling right and this went on for years. The time came when I lost faith in profiling, when I believe that profiling only worked in movies but I was wrong, I would soon play my last game of chess and find out how real profiling was. The problem was never the profiles I created or the way I played the game with these profiles, no, the problem was my profile.
Her name was Angel she walked into my life and changed everything the steps of the game, the position of the pieces, the method of play and the position and status of the king. The game was already in motion she was considered a pawn and some-one else the queen, I had control of the game but that was until she decide to switch status, she promoted herself and took the role of queen. There was a girl in my life who I considered a lot and she was taken away from me the goal of this game was bringing the queen back to safety but the queen would dethrone herself and take the role of a pawn, Angel decided she wanted to be queen but I was afraid for her she never played the game before. Angel shocked me playing the game better than I had ever played it in my life, she recreated it to what she wanted it to be.
You might be lost at this time but let me explain. Angel created my profile. I was a block boy that had everything I wanted. My relationship had met its end but I was still in pursuing of the same girl, Angel came along and agreed to help me find her. When she was found she told me that our relationship had no future. Angel was there for me and got me back on my foot she became my queen, she introduced me to church and that when everything happened, I fell in love with Angel but she didn't even know what love really was. Soon after I lost everything, house, money, friends and even Angel. Angel walked out and abandoned me in this new world she had brought me to and truthfully I was scared, I had no idea what this new world would do to me but the truth was Angel never abandoned me she gave me room to grow, she gave me space to become a new man. I'm not sure where she is or how long we'll be apart but I know that I'll always love her and she will always be here with me because she gave me the two things no-one else ever gave me. She gave me a heart and a soul.
Angel where-ever you may be remember I love you and I always will.
Inspired by a young woman that changed my life forever her name was changed to protect her identity.
