Ocean of Fears (Panacea Series #2)

Chapter 7

Seven.

Was it worth it leaving the house? Did it give me a peace of mind?

The answer is yes.

Hindi ko akalaing may kukupkop sa akin. I've never thought of this. Akala ko ay mahihirapan akong maghanap ng matitirahan. My plan is to look for a cheapest apartment. Ayos lang naman sa akin ang kahit na ano, basta may matutulugan ako. This is too much. Sobra pa 'to sa hiningi ko.

"Pinagtimplahan kita ng kape, Paris." Koa sat in front of me and put the glass of coffee on the top of table.

Nasa condo kami ni Eliezer. He said he's not using this. This was his condo before. He's leaving in his pent house. He said I can live here temporarily. Wala naman daw kasing gumagamit.

"Salamat..." I smiled at him.

I can feel their warmth. They welcomed me with an open arms. Mali nga siguro 'yong stereotype ko sa kanila noon. I don't like artists because they're entitled. You can't even touch them because they feel like they are superior than you. Some of them are fake. Kunwari ay mahal ka raw as a fan, pagkatalikod naman ay halos paliguan na ng alcohol ang sarili dahil nadikitan mo lang.

"Ayos lang sa 'yong um-absent? Akala ko sobrang academic conscious ka," he's opening a conversation with me.

The other members were busy practicing. Si Eliezer ay may gagawin daw. Si Koa lang ang naiwan at siya ang nang-e-entertain sa akin dito. Ate Cherish went back to company. Bawal siyang magtagal dito, so she advised Zeref to take care of me.

"Wala akong magawa," I answered. "Bantay-sarado ako kanina. Mag-e-explain talaga ako nang sobra kay Ma'am! May quiz kasi kami, e," I said, worrying about my quizzes.

He chuckled. "Pagbibigyan ka naman ng mga teachers. Kapag kasi kilala ka ng teachers na masipag, they will give you a chance."

"I hope..." I whispered, thinking of my subject teacher who's very strict.

"I'm glad you did the right thing. Kung ikukulong mo lang ang sarili mo sa kagaya nila, you won't be able to show and use your wings."

Sa kanilang lahat, si Koa ang may pinakainosenteng aura. He is easy to be with. I am comfortable around him. His aura is too light and soft. Dahil sa kaniya, ang mabigat kong nararamdaman kanina ay unti-unting napawi.

"Is it cool to be an artist?" That question suddenly came out from my mouth. 

"Hmm... if you are into this, it's cool," he answered. "Passion naman kasi ang nakalaan dito. Kapag may passion ka, may pangarap ka. It's hard to be an artist, but it will be worth it because of the people who support you, music is a form of art— and by doing it, you can make a masterpiece, and of course... the achievements, " he added. "Bonus na lang ang fame. May advantage at disadvantage 'yon. Nasa sa 'yo na kung paano mo iha-handle 'yon. I think you're aware of that."

I do not believe in myself. I am always afraid of disappointing others and not exceeding their expectations of me. As a result, I will be so frustrated and be discouraged. That kind of attitude is preventing me to achieve more... to fly high. I don't know. I just don't believe at myself... because I've watched those eyes for a long time— and those eyes were always disappointed of me. Those eyes were always judging me.

"To be honest, I'm not really planning to enter this kind of field. I just don't have a choice. I needed the money," I said with a sad voice.

"Hmmm..." he licked his lips. "Time will tell that."

Kinabukasan, since I still need a guide, Zeref went here again. Nangunguna si Eliezer at Koa. May dala-dala silang pagkain at drinks. Napangiti ako nang mapagtantong hindi nila ako tinatrato na parang iba.