Jaana : The Girl He Loved Too Much

Chapter 21

The sunlight barged in the room engulfing the darkness of the night. Sitara's eyes flutter open and the first thing she saw was herself.

Her painting on the ceiling reminded her where she was. She jolted awake and saw herself surrounded by herself. She closed her eyes and whole night came back to her. His voice, his touch, his eyes.

After a moment she gathered the courage to open her eyes and accept the reality. She wrapped herself with the sheets and got down the bed. Wincing slightly in the pain she slowly walked towards the door he came out last night, guessing it must be the bathroom and it was.

She entered and the bathroom too like the whole house had the wooden vibe. The fixtures were wooden. The ceramic vanity basin was mounted on the wooden chest drawers. A mirror in the shape of sun was mounted above it. The bath tub was a sphere shaped wooden tub. There was a glass shower cubicle and the storage cabinets along too were wooden.

She opened looked around and shuffled the drawers and everything was stocked. A set of new toiletries were kept. She tore opened the seal of a toothbrush and brushed her teeth. After washing her face she set herself a bath using the lavender salts she found and laid in the bath tub. The water was soothing, it was relaxing her muscles. But as the water touched her skin, tears welled up and she cried.

She cried on being so pathetically weak that she couldn't even put up a fight. She understood that he is her husband and when she signed herself to him, she made a commitment to herself to give her whole to make this marriage work. Being her husband she knew he thinks its his right on her but what about her rights on herself. The right to say no. Why she couldn't say it more strongly. Strong enough to atleast give him a fight instead on laying limp there. Why every cell in her body submits to him. Why do she fear him so much? She cursed herself because somewhere she did feel the pleaure and she hated for giving in so easily. Its like he didnt even try. Its like somehow his eyes rule her body. She can't even talk to Nargis about it. She is her only friend and now she is trapped alone in this haywire of emotions with no answers.

She scrubbed her body with loofah again and again and yet she can smell him on herself. She couldn't get rid of his touch. She stayed there in the tub for long crying. Finally coming out of her pity party she came out of the tub. She took out a lime bath robe from the cabinet and wore it after wiping herself.

The bath did relax her sore muscles but the bruises on her neck were still there turning into the shade of purple. She winced lightly as she trailed her fingers on them. What off my clothes? She thought. He didn't let her bring any clothes from her house and here too she came inside to take a bath. She should have checked out the clothes first.

Well surely standing in the bathroom won't give her any answers, so she opened the door slightly and peeped outside to ensure that he ain't in the room. Finding the room vacant she stepped out taking cautious steps. She held the robe tight around herself.

The changed silk on the bed brought a blush of embarrassment to her knowing someone would have seen the blood stains knowing exactly what happened. Her eyes went on the clothes that were laid out on the bed.

She reached closer to the glass doors and pulled the drapes on the balcony before exploring the outfit. Turning around she explored the room for the first time noticing something apart from her paintings.

The room has his vibe altogether. Anyone who knows him can see and tell that this room belongs to him. It's filled with his cologne and smell of whiskey. Even his bed was black rot iron. The sheets were changed and they too were black silk. Even this chair or now that she noticed all the furniture in this room is black. The drapes though are grey net. She saw his gun lying carelessly around on the bedside chest.