Thinking: Evaporating

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What would happen if I died right now? Like truly. What is the meaning of death? Is it just personified into the illusion of life not existing? People feel the need to not be here on this earth anymore due to the fact that they hate where their life is going, where it will go and how it has been. Those people fall into this abyss of pure destruction of feeling like their life has no meaning. But how does one come to that conclusion? How do they know and determine that life is pointless? I understand their frustration. The mere thought of leaving this house, this town, this state, this country, this world brings me more joy and happiness than you will ever know. No, I don't care about how people will react once I'm gone. Is that selfish? Now I'm selfish? I can't feel how I feel without being judged about it? Do you knot that it's okay to not be okay?! People need to wake up and come face to face with reality. This world isn't for the weak...and I'm weak. I'm weaker than a new born baby. This world doesn't belong to me, and I don't belong to this world. What do I need to prove here? Tell me. I would love to know. Because going day by day not knowing what will happen to me is utterly terrifying. I don't need to prove a damn thing to anyone so why bother trying to stay above water to make a point. I'm not smart enough, not pretty enough, not skinny enough, not athletic enough, and I'm damn sure not sane enough. Mental illness is a drug in its self and it eats away at the core without you even realizing it. Now look who's selfish.

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