Your such a Feline Wolfy

~Yodellers can go to hell~

Liv was woken up to bright sunlight streaming through her curtains and the sound of someone singing and playing 'Ba ba black sheep' on the recorder outside her window.

She found this personally insulting.

Angrily, she threw her pink fluffy duvet off her enraged body and flounced towards the window. She ripped the curtains back and her eyes landed on an old bearded man singing outside in the street.

His voice sounded angelic which angered Liv even more!

"HOW DARE YOU SING OURSIDE MY WINDOW YOU FREAK!" Liv roared.

The poor man was so startled he dropped his pages of lyrics and the wind harshly blew them into Livs face.

Liv moved her hand to her cheek where the pages had left a small papercut.

She was enraged.

And upset.

Slowly and shakily, she pulled the curtains closed, feeling utterly destroyed by the man's actions.

She took a deep breath.

Then - suddenly - something horrific happened...

The man started to sing again.

Except now without his lyrics, he had reduced to the worst form of singing ever known to man...

Yodelling.

Liv shrieked clawing at her ears to make the horrific sound leave her aching brain!

Her mind in a blur, she knew there was only one answer- asssination.

She moved quickly to her large wardrobe and pulled out her tall, pink, leather combat boots and pulled them onto her feet. Next, she grabbed her metal baton and secured it  in her hand.

Revenge.

She let out a war cry which made the yodelling seem quiet and pitiful in comparison and threw herself at the window.

Her spotty dressing gown flew out behind her and the glass window smashed as she charged through it and onto the stunned man.

She pulled out her baton and beat him with it until, finally, the yodelling ceased. His body fell floppy in her arms and she disposed of him in the trash can. Next, she grabbed his recorder which was splattered in his blood and she buried it in her neighbour Tracy's hanging baskets.

She stood up, looking around at the highstreet, checking no one had seen her fit of revenge.

There were a few crows nestled on a wire but no one else had seen her rage. But then she was him. Half hidden behind a lamp post.

He emerged and swaggered towards her.
He wore a sexy leather jacket and his eyes seemed to glow- red.

Livs breath hitched.

He strutted towards her like a mating bird until he was nearly touching her face. His eyes moved up and down her body, resting on her spotty dressing gown.

"What's got you all upset you smexy goddess" he whispered in her ear.

"My names DEREK, what's yours...?"

Liv could barley form words.

She needed this hot devil in her life.

But then she remembered Boris Johnson. What if this was a repeat of last year, when her heart was broken by the blonde angel of Boris? Would this sexy stranger hurt her?

"GET AWAY FROM ME YOU UGLY PUDDING!" She shouted in anger, shoving his body away from her.

Derek let out an animalistic growl and leapt after her as she started to run away.

He Galloped on his hands and knees- meaning he was a little faster than her and pushed her to the ground. Her head hit the concrete and her vision blurred slightly. She was faintly aware of him gnawing at her arm with his sharp fangs and growling seductively, then she fell asleep.