✩ Kai's POV ✩
I can tell Ivy's nerves are heightened because of everything Agent Cooper just said.
I get it.
I wish I could tell her to run away from this place. I wish that she would listen, but I know that if I were to say anything, her anger would control her response and then she could be going in based on that adrenaline.
I don't want her getting hurt because of that.
And then there's also our deal.
I can't leave her alone with everything, especially from what I saw at her house and how she doesn't talk to anyone. Although that requires strength, it can also lead to god knows what. I don't know what I would do if something were to happen to her.
During our training, I had to literally shut my head off to train her instead of driving her straight back home. I know she could handle it, but those moments where she would feel the slightest amount of pain fucking killed me.
"Ivy, I didn't know about you not having any protection. I-."
"I'll be fine, I just need a minute." She holds out her hand to silence me, sitting in a chair to gather her thoughts.
I bend down on one knee in front of her and gently take her hand just in case she feels uncomfortable.
"Look at me," I softly say, but the authority in my voice slips out uncontrollably.
She looks up, her dark eyes capturing me whole.
I never want to look away.
"I don't want you to get hurt. If you end up going through with this, I want you to know that I will have every single person I can find patrolling any area you're in," I first tell her because there's about a 99.9 percent chance that she'll go with the option to stay on the case and I don't want her worried if she does.
I'm holding out all hope for that 0.01 percent chance of her deciding to not go though.
"But if you decide that this isn't safe and you want to stay behind, we'll find someone else to go in and I will take you home right now if you ask me to."
She stares at me, contemplating the two decisions. It's a very serious one, so I let her take her time.
I feel her thumb tracing circles onto the back of my hand continuously, probably a nervous tick.
For the life of me and my own anxiety, I pray that this was a situation where I could put her back on that plane and she could go back to a life where her current worries were her next exam.
Please say you want to go home.
"I'm doing it. I didn't train my ass off for nothing." She nods, affirming herself more than me.
I swallow, hard, pushing my worry and disappointment from her answer down.
If she thinks I'm doubting her, that'll only make her doubt herself more and Leo can't see that. I need her to come out alive and unharmed.
"Okay." I force a smile.
She looks back and forth between my eyes.
The room falls silent.
Her hand is still in mine. It's holding my hand tighter than it was before.
Her eyes then fall onto my lips, and before I can process it, her mouth lands on mine.
Worse fucking timing ever. Why couldn't had this happened when we were training and I literally had her pinned against a wall or vice versa?
I can't control myself when I'm with her though when she makes moves like this. All my training, all the self-control I've built up gets thrown out the window when she's around me. I haven't been with someone in god knows how long, and one indescribably stubborn, closed-off woman waltzes into my life to make me her pretend boyfriend and I lose all restraint.
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Worse for Love- Book #3 in the WF Series
RomanceLove. A word that never made sense to Ivy Blanchard. Yes, she helps all of her friends with every relationship because she wants to see them happy, but she never really believed in the exaggerated picture of what "love" is. Trusting someone complete...