"I'M SO TIRED, this is the end of it all. I'll never be hurt again." I spat in a whisper, looking at the city. Everything about it pissed me off, will any of them feel bad if they saw my body shattered on the ground? Just like they hadn't for Tim.
'I bet no one would care.' He whispered.
Who is he? You'd ask. I didn't know either. He was this little voice that always whispered in my ear. He was like air, always there, the only one that paid me any attention.
"You're right." I'd fought the voice since a year ago it started its whispers, shutting it out and not letting his words get to me. But now, I just let him. I succumbed, letting his ever so true whispers get to me.
'They didn't care when you fell apart, they didn't help when you tried to pick yourself up. They blamed you, ridiculed you. They're the reason you're gonna end it all. I'll always be with you, I'll__we'll meet at the other end and I'll be your companion forever.'
Again. So right. He had been my companion, been with me even when I forced him out, he kept pushing. He was right, maybe death isn't so bad. Maybe death was redemption. Living is devastating.
It was all going to end. I felt him snicker, he'd won. He knew it from the start that he would. I stood crossing over the railings with my hands outspread. It reminded me of a scene in the classic titanic movie of Rose, only Jack had come to her rescue, while I only had the whispers with me.
I laughed like a mad fool, life was mocking me? I'd mock it right back. I threw up my middle finger to the sky. "Fuck you all__!" I yelled, pushing myself off the rail, I felt the whooshing dense air, my mind went blank, the air got heavier and harder to breathe in, then a splat!! The sound of something cracking and spurting. It was me.
"Stop!" A heaving quivery voice screamed, pulling me out of my reverie and I subconsciously held the rail. "Please stop."
What the hell? I was still standing by the rail, I wasn't down yet, I hadn't broken to pieces. I hadn't made a piece of art for their admiration, maybe then they would spare me a bit of their time. I was still alive but it wasn't late. I just had to let__.
"Please don't let go." That voice again.
I knew that voice, I'd fantasized enough with it to recognize it even in my deepest sleep but no way was it him. I tilted my head back to look at him, Josh? What was he doing here? Who the fuck was he to tell me what to do?
I scowled at him and focused on my intent. He was here to mock me, just like the rest of them, sucks to be me. They can mock my corpse all they want.
"Oh my god, please Rain, don't do this." I paid no heed to the begging in his voice. He didn't even know my name.
"It's Ryan. You can't even get my name right.'' I laughed hysterically again at myself, trembling and almost letting go of the railing I hadn't realized when I held.
"Fine, I'm sorry. Ryan. Now please listen to me and don't do this."
"Why? Because no one deserves to die? Because I can still be saved? Because I'm not broken? Why Josh-fucking-Ramon? Or you here to mock me like the rest of your friends?" I tried as sarcastically as I could. Josh stood by the door, cautiously taking a step at a time, his hands held out. That caused another wave of laughter from me.
"Stop laughing please, you're scaring me."
"Who cares shit about you?" I was irritated.
'Why're you still talking to him? Jump.' I haven't heard him since the fucker came in and he was right, I had a goal, not listening to the pretty boy I was once mad about. I wanted to laugh again at the thought, but it died in my throat.
