_ALONE

_epilogue

Chapter word count: 768

~~~

The car pulls over St. Joseph's Cemetery. Aiden steps out, one hand in his jacket pocket and the other clasped around a thin bouquet of flowers. He makes his way past the few people who are on their way back to the parking lot, and searches the headstones until he reaches the one he's looking for. He stops, scrutinizing the flowers lying on Lena Pearce's grave.

Someone's been here earlier today. It couldn't have been Nicky because the flowers are different. Lena always liked tulips, and these are lilies. Aiden and Nicky had agreed to bring her only tulips. It must've been one of Lena's friends who brought them. She did have a lot of friends in school after all, and they were all devastated at the loss of their dear friend.

He kneels, lays down the flowers he's brought over the lilies and stares at the name engraved on the stone. He lowers his head and runs a hand across Lena's name, fingers stopping right over the date of her death.

October 26, 2012.

At Age 6.

Too young. Too innocent. Somehow fortunate to be spared by the future cruelty of the real world, and more unfortunate to be the victim of her visitor who only seeks penance because it's too late.

Dead. And buried. All because of him.

Nicky called a few days ago. It'll be Jackson's birthday next week, she'd said. There will be a party, all of his friends are invited, but it'll be all for nothing if his uncle never shows up. It's been a year since he dropped by, the last time being a few days after the funeral, the last conversation he'd had with his nephew was all a chess game and a few quiet nods to one another. While he's grateful that they still want to be around him, so much of his courage has been lost that there's just nothing left for him to show. There is so much that has happened, so many things left unsaid, a hundred million clarifications and explanations still hanging in the air that even if he tried to fix anything it will still change absolutely nothing. And he's tried to fix a few things. Tried to cover holes, tried to look into things he'd never breathe out loud to Nicky.

And somehow... somehow, the things he's already patched up never stays patched up for more than two seconds.

He has ruined so much that there's no way he could face Nicky again without cowering, without feeling the shame, without seeing his failure reflected in her eyes.

He would never be able to bear that.

Aiden rises, whispering another apology to Lena and walks away from the grave, all the way back to the parking lot under the warm sun. A wretched voice cries nearby. Its sorrow reaches him and he clambers back in his car, the crying voice now imprinted in his head.

He starts the engine. His foot is already about to step on the gas when his phone rings.

Unregistered number. Digits familiar. His frown darkens and he looks up at the graveyard but he's too far back to even see Lena's headstone. He grunts indecisively, sighs, and then taps the answer button and brings the phone up to his ear. A voice speaks even before he could.

"Hey. I got you something. We should meet. If you still want to do this, talk. If you don't... you can just hang up the phone. It doesn't matter."

Aiden gazes at the graveyard again, still unable to find Lena's grave from where he sits. He watches newcomers enter the cemetery, all walking towards where their loved ones lay. One visitor is leaving and she passes the parking lot with red, nearly-bloated eyes, and she sobs into her handkerchief as she heads right out to the gates. She must've been the mourner he'd heard a few minutes ago, and he starts to wonder who she had lost — and, briefly, what it would take for her to make peace with that loss.

His nails dig deep into his palms.

He lost someone too. They're not the only people grieving. Other people make peace with things that will haunt them forever because there is nothing they can do about it. Only a few people in this world have the guts to try to fix that pain, and Aiden knows that he can be one of those people. He can stop that pain. He has to.

He must.

For Lena. For Jacks. For Nicky.

Aiden clears his throat, all control and calmness.

"I'll be right there."

END.