I have been waiting for you (hyunlix)

not alone but lonley

Hyunjin , did not feel okay , irritated actually and frustrated,he was in a low mood and a bit consumed with heavy thoughts.

He may not want to "exist" for the day, he just wanted to be buried in his room and try to have some sleep.

It's been like this for a while now , this feeling like he was empty and numb inside. Most of the time he tried to ignore it, but lately it's been getting too much to the point where he didn't feel real. It felt like he was floating outside of his body , that he was not actually here mentally.

Detachment was the closest definition for his state of mind.

the boy couldn't sleep well at night, thinking of nothing in particular.Like his thoughts are racing and he can't switch off.

He was heading to the canteen at launch break to meet his friends , the tall boy grabbed a chaire ,sat down with them while trying to pay attention to their talk, they were laughing at something Chan the oldest of the group has said.

But Hyunjin drifted into his own thoughts.

**Hyunjin Pov

Why was he fucking sad for, he was doing okay, he got accepted in his dream college of art, he was healthy, and got friends that always support him, but for some reason he was still sad, and he felt  this emptiness inside his heart,
"Hey earth to Hyunjin are you listening ? " Han screamed in the boy's ear after calling him many times,

'' Oh my ear dude ! i still need it,''  he protested
"I think its not functioning well, have been calling you for a while now."  Han shouted
"Yeah yeah my bad I'm really tired from a long day of painting and i can't keep my eyes open , I'm trying to work on that damn exhibition project"

Han jisung is one of his best friends he met him in the welcoming party first day at college. He was studying music, a chaotic guy full of energy, sometimes Hyunjin envied him for that.

"So are you full prepared for the camp? " asked Han
"What camp?" He answered in confusion trying to recall the said event .

Han rolled his eyes in annoyance and answered
''THE CAMP, which our college organise every year ,
Does this ring a bell to you, you know all the students from different departments will attend, we will have a huge party out on the beach and we will enjoy the nature and visit beautiful spots, i thought you were excited and wanted to paint for your exhibition project looking for inspiration .''

"Oh yeah , that camp ,i totally forgot about it "
He answered apologetically.

"Are you okay hyunnie, you are not being yourself for a approximately a month now, i didn't actually want to interfere i thought you are only stressed because of  your project ,but I'm sure there is something else. Family problems? " Asked han with worry washing his face.

He didn't know what to say to han, because he himself didn't know what was going on with him, Constant exhaustion. There's nothing else he can ever think of saying when someone asks how he was doing besides saying "i'm tired" for the billionth time this week.

He felt  like there was something missing in his life but he didn't know what it was, was it really his family? since when he cared about the absence of their affection or interest is his well-being, they have been absent from his life since he could remember. How he was supposed to explain this to the boy,

"Han I'm fine, as you said I'm kinda stressed and as you know my family is not in town so I'm feeling kinda lonely " He answered reassuring the boy.
Han and the guys don't look convinced but didn't seem like wanting to push him more. And he was really thankful for that.

"I'm gonna go guys see you tomorrow, " he took his books and stood up.
"Are you heading home already ! we still have one more class and i really wanna discuss the camp with you , you know what to bring with us and all "said chan confused.

"I'm not in the mood guys i trust you in this , just text me the things i need to bring with me " he said that while running away from his friends.
" Hyunjin fuck wait!" He heard han screaming
**

**Han pov
After Hyunjin left Han turned to chan "something is definitely wrong with him don't convince me otherwise"
"I know right, lets hope he gets better after the camp this weekend, it's necessary to get some fresh air and hike it off ,it's gonna be LIT! "Screamed Chan excitement washing his face ,"and also i have this friend of mine named Felix that will come too , he is an exchange student, a really nice guy , the lad will be in our music department too! And he has a voice of angels" Chan said smiling his dimples were showing up

"Oh can't wait to meet him he will make a good addition to our friends cercle. "Han answered excitedly

But he was still worried sick about Hyunjin, he is that kind and shy person ,when they met him in the party everyone was seeking his attention ,talented , intelligent and very famous , he has these god forbidden looks and wealth , tall with a lean body like a model, black raven hair and pale skin, but he doesn't open up to people easily.

The raven haired boy was looking for a way out of the party when he and Chan stumbled into him ,  his eyes were pleading for help , he was followed by a bunch of girls with starving looks wanting to eat him alive.

From that day they become friends , well to be honest it took him some time to blend into their group , at first he was so quit and didn't usually say much it return when they tried to strike conversation with him, it made Han wonder sometimes "does he even want to befriend us?" Han didn't know how best to proceed but he kept trying to gain his trust but he had only succeed at making him uncomfortable.

Chan on the other hand was understanding and patient with Hyunjin.
So han really wanted to  follow Chan hyung 's method and not push the taller boy, hope he comes to themfor help.
**

At Hyunjin home ,

"Hello anyone home ! Oh shit what was he doing of course no one is home, " hyunjin whispered to himself
it's been like this for ages now his parents went for business trip as usual leaving him alone here.
"Oh ! hii kkami your hungry? Lets go eat and have some sleep."

Hyunjin stayed at the dining table playing with the tasteless food that the maid left for him. Again feeling empty , hyunjin was trying to figure out what's wrong with him.

" Wait does this feeling is loneliness, " hyunjin mumbled to himself
"Okay if i feel lonely why im reluctant to answer my phone that is buzzing for the 10th time now, it must be chan not giving up yet."

You got a voicemail. "Yo dickhead it's chan AGAIN ! I'm starting to worry and if you are not calling me back in 5 sec I'm going to crash your doorstep, im warning you , goddamn it answer the fucking phone. "

Hyunjin signed and called his friend

"Hi Hyun.., "

Chan interrupted Hyunjin angrily "don't fuck hyung me now ! Why are you not answering the damn phone"

"Sorry i was taking a shower " he lied "are you my girlfriend or something! " he tried to lighten his hyung's mood.

Chan was acting out of his character and the younger felt kinda guilty for making his hyung this angry.

"Ugh fiiiine, did you start packing? I sent you a list with everything you need to take with you , i will get you tomorrow morning at 7am be ready by then"
"Must i really go ! Fuck" Hyunjin cursed under his breath.
"Yes i won't take no as an answer " Chan warned the younger boy.

"Fine see you tomorrow ! "
"Bye"
Hyunjin hanged the phone and went to his bed trying to get some sleep it's gonna be a very long weekend.
**