1993 - Tate Langdon x Y/n

A new beginning.

The sound of his screaming deafened my ears, nirvana means a state of perfect happiness or an ideal place in life. I would like to believe I was there, until my mother dragged me all the way down to the pits of LA. I forwarded to the next song on the cassette, Kurt's voice can make me fall asleep. It's so angelic and there is something about the way he screams that just brings me so much pleasure. I could listen to his music forever and never get bored. 

The date marks, 1993 January 21st, my mom brought me here all the way from New Orleans. Something about finding out who my aunt really was and we had to get away from her. I resent my mom for that, I loved my aunt very dearly, she was there for me when my mom wasn't which  was basically the last two years of my life. My mom never got over the divorce between my dad and her. She usually just stayed in her room drinking herself to sleep each day while my aunt would watch over me and take me anywhere I would want to go. It wasn't much but it was enough for me and I was happy. How did it all happen exactly? I don't really know I just remember waking up to them fighting and my mom being scared of my aunt. She told me to pack a bag and now here I am. Half way across the world driving to my new house in LA.

To be honest this is all bullshit to me, picking up and leaving everything we've ever known just because of an argument? I should've screamed, shouted, fought, why did I get in that car  without questioning? Maybe I was just scared, I don't know I haven't seen my mom do anything other then get out of bed to eat and use the restroom in the past two years so maybe I just assumed it had to be something important. I just wish I didn't. 

Then my mom shook my leg and I shot back to reality shoved out of my thoughts. "Jesus, every time I'm with you I feel like I'm talking to a wall since you always have those headphones on. You know you could go deaf from those things, especially with the volume you have it at." My mom said in the drivers seat glaring at me then back at the road.

"Then I hope I do, at least I won't have to hear anyone's bullshit anymore." 

"Language!" She said smacking my leg, I rolled my eyes at her. "Look I'm sorry, I know this isn't what you wanted but trust me I'm doing this for you-" I cut her off.

"For me? If you wanted to do anything for me you should've just left me there. I was happy, I know you never saw that because you never came out of your room, but I was." I said slightly raising my voice with a tempered tone. It was quiet for a few minutes after.

"I'm sorry you feel that way, but one day when you're older you'll understand. You can be happy here to if you try." She said speeding up and cutting off the driver in front of her. 

"Right because I relate so much to these rich LA kids." Then I put my headphones back on before she could say another word, except for this time I raised the volume louder then last time. I just don't understand how she can take her own side. She's so delusional, doing this for me? Please if she knew anything about me she would know that I would rather be back at home with my aunt. My mind went on for a while with these constant thoughts of how stupid I thought she was until we slowed down and she pulled into a gas station. She shook my leg once again but this time I didn't respond to it then she got out of the car to fill up the tank. 

I watched out the window to see three teenage girls sitting in the back of a truck laughing. I observed them for a while before one of them took out a mini plastic bag from her purse to what seem to be filled with coke. Yup I was for sure in LA, random teenagers doing coke out in public that's not something you really see in a regular small town. It's not like I can judge, I mean I've tried coke once with my beat friends back in sophomore year. It was really scary and I'll never do it again but it was fun to be there with my friends.

I turned down my music and got out of the car, "what are you doing?"

"I going to go get a soda I'll be right back." I said walking up to the gas station door. I went straight to the back where most gas stations keep their sodas. I was looking to see which one I wanted when the girls from the truck came in and started looking down the aisles. I didn't think much of it but when they came to the back and saw me they went quiet. 

The tall one whispered something to the other two which made them look at me and laugh. I looked around for a second to see if it was really me that were laughing at and sure enough it was. 

"I'm sorry is there something funny to you?" I asked them closing the refrigerator door with a mountain dew in hand. Except I didn't say that, I only said it in my head, although I know I should stick up for myself I just stay quiet observing them. I just beg in my mind for them to stop and move on to the next thing. They're always girls like that that somehow always end up surrounding me with their toxic insults. Maybe that's why my thoughts about me aren't the best. 

I paid for the drink and headed back to the car, I sat in the front seat wondering what those girls said about me. I know I shouldn't care and I really try not to but it's just hard after a while when so many people start doing it to you, it just makes you think you are the problem. I turn up my music to drown out my thoughts and before I knew it my mind was slowly slipping into a state of peace. Only a few things in life give me peace like that and listening to music is one of them. I close my eyes for the rest of the car ride and before I know it my mom was shaking my leg once again.

"we're here."