Marlesland

4

Emptiness is all I feel, it's been almost two months that I've been here, and every day I feel more and more lonely, I don't even get why I'm feeling like this.

I do have friends, my ladies are the best thing I could ask for, they are sweet and gentle and treat me just like I've always wished to be treated, with respect and mostly as a human being not just some princess or a worthless being.

Even the Queen or Juliet as she insisted on calling her is one of the best people I've met, sure she is a Queen, and I thought that she would be like my mother, narcissistic, but she is the complete opposite of that, with me at least.

But I can't tell her about how I'm feeling, she'll think I'm weak and treat me just like my mother, plus she seems to adore the Prince, so I can't say anything bad about him in front of her.

As for my ladies, sometimes I tell them little details about how I'm feeling and they try to find solutions and help but they don't know the whole truth, and even if I did tell them I feel like they would look at me differently, pity would feel their eyes every time they see me, they will see me as a weak Princess who isn't even worth that title.

I know I'm not everyone made sure to remind me of that fact every day, especially my sister, who is almost half of the cause of all these feelings and negativity I'm feeling.

And I kinda did something that I regret so much, I once listened to Yvette's words, and she's been filling me with information that I didn't believe at first but now getting a close eye at the things she told me I'm starting to believe them.

I know she is manipulating me and that every word she is saying may be true but that is how the function of our life is, that is the normal way of things.

I ignored her at first but one time I saw something that she told me I will see and it is a confirmation that her words were true, ever since that day I've been listening to her, I want to stop, I regret it but I can't.

She said that the Queen Mother preferred my oldest sister over me, I've never talked to the Queen Mother but I've seen Lilyana spending so much time with her, they are always in the gardens, and even King Arron seems to like my sister more.

They invite her to dinner and not me, they send her gifts and not me and even Prince Ares spend time with her more than me, I'm his betrothed and he hardly even talks to me or even looks my way.

Even tho The Prince is barely seen when he is in the castle, I see him spending time with his sister dearest, and I don't mind or I'm trying to convince myself that I don't but the truth is that I hate it.

I hate being her shadow, I hate being forgotten just because she is there, and I hate myself for even being born.

I'm sure both she and my mother think the same way, they wished that I wasn't born, I'm not sure how my mother didn't kill me in her womb, she seemed to hate me even before I was born, I don't understand why.