Tears May Fall

Worst summer

"On the outside she is smiling, but, on the inside she is dying." - Meghan
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I sit in my room crying, wondering why they had to leave me. All I know is we were friends one day and just because I made a little mistake, they all of a sudden think they are too good for me! I mean what type of friend does that? Definately NOT a friend of mine! Or not a good friend at least, for all I know, I deserved it. Just like I always deserve to be left by anyone I care about. No matter how hard I try to make things right they always go wrong. maybe that's just the universes way of saying that I shouldn't be here. I feel horrible right now, all I need is a friend. A friend that will care about me no matter what mistakes I make! That is the type of friend I would want. But of course that would be considered a dream by my many 'friends' that I have. Of course, to a lot of people dreams never come true and are also known as reasons to live a 'perfect' life and there is no such thing as a 'perfect' life. Well that is just what I heard from almost everyone that I talk to. All you really can do is just ' go with the flow' or 'roll with the punches'. Either way one can only hope to have a life as perfect as our childhood roll models always did. It is the end of the year and all of a sudden they just said that I am bringing them lower on the 'popular scale' which somehow has started to exist. I guess you could call me the 'unpopular' type of friend. I am not as mature and grown up as everyone else is, and that is true. I have been told that by my cousin. I asked her if I was maturing slower than the rest of the family, and she said yes. So I guess she is right, because I have realized how childish I must seem to everyone else that has seen how I act. I have seen how annoying I have became, especially since I almost always follow where other people go even though I have no idea what they are doing. Well I guess different people mature at different times. And I hate to feel alone and rejected how I usually seem. In every class that we get to talk in I usually just sit there and listen to the other conversations that are going on. I have felt sadness, anger, and fear for many times. I have been bullied for 6 years. I have also had my friends laugh 'with' me a lot. When that happens its usually where someone makes a joke about me and I laugh even though it stings on the inside. Sometimes, I even get a pain in my chest that no one knows about. And sometimes I feel like no one will ever care.
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A/N: Hey! Thanks for reading my book! I know this seems sad and some of this is how I actually feel! So just giving you a heads up. please comment or vote. Thanks!