not a big deal~carl grimes

<seven>

we were stood around, me, carl, and beth. we stood outside the cell where maggie sat next to a sleeping hershel. i noticed a panicked look come to maggies face 'what's wrong?'

beth began screaming as I noticed that the slow rise and fall of hershels chest had stopped. he wasn't breathing!

i ran over to another cell where lori was, 'hershel's not breathing.'

she followed me, rushing over to help. carl and i observed as she bent down over him, giving him mouth to mouth, trying to push air into his lungs and restart his breathing.

i sucked in a breath when he grabbed her round her head. i was too terrified to move while the girls tried to pry lori away from him.

eventually, my held breath was released when she got away and i realised that he was still alive. i noticed carl stood with his gun up ready to shoot, but he wouldn't have, he was just too petrified to lower it.

i used it down for him 'carl, it's okay. he's okay.'

he grabbed my hand, dragging me outside the cell, just by the door but where the others couldn't see us. 'i'm sorry.' he looked down, scuffing his foot against the floor.

i tilted my head, crossing my arms 'carl, what the hell are you sorry for?'

'i wouldn't stand down.' he stopped moving his foot and looked up at me. 'i knew he was okay but i kept aiming at him.'

'it's not your fault.' he looked down again so i held his face to look at me 'i promise you, it's not your fault. you were scared. so scared you were frozen there, you couldn't move. and you were just trying to make sure we're all safe. no one's mad at you. i promise.'

he seemed only half convinced so i pulled him into a tight hug, which he responded to by gently resting his hands on my back. in his ear, i muttered 'it's not your fault, i promise you.'

we stayed out there, just where we could stay close to the rest of them that were actually there. carl stood leaning on the doorway while i sat on the floor by his feet, leaning against the wall. we stayed for a while. the only time i got up was to grab my book. i figured if we were going to be sat here, i might as well read more of my book to pass the time.

i scrambled to my feet, dropping the book beside me when i heard the doors open, signalling that rick, daryl, and t-dog were back.

'hershel stopped breathing.' carl informed them. 'mom saved him.'

'it's true.' i confirmed.

rick passed the things in his hands to carl as he headed into the cell. 'still no fever.' i heard lori whisper as he did.

i observed as rick moved to the end of his bed, leaning on the post by his head. hershels mouth began moving, causing maggie to bend down beside him. just as everyone moved closer to see what was happening, he made no further movement.

a moment passed, everyone was still stood around waiting for something to happen, but nothing did. until he opened his eyes. as maggie and beth made a small fuss over it, rick unlocked the cuffs that were keeping hershel on the bed.

i smiled slightly at how happy the girls were that their dad was going to be okay, but i also felt a nearly unnoticeable bit of jealousy bubble inside me. they had their dad, he was okay and hadn't turned. meanwhile, my whole family was probably out there somewhere, no longer my family, but roaming around as those monsters.

i pushed down the envy, focusing on the fact that we were all okay and safe. everyone i came here with was still alive, we hadn't been overrun by walkers yet, and as far as i could tell, we were safe for the time being.

now that i knew hershel was okay, i had the chance to disappear again. i hid out in my cell, rustling through my bag until i found it. a framed picture. the glass was cracked and dirt and dust collected on it, but nothing that bad. the picture was still clear. tears came to my eyes as i looked at it.

it was a picture of 4 people, 3 children and 2 adults. one adult was tall and thin with straight light brown hair, green eyes and glasses. my dad. the other adult was a short, curly haired, blonde woman with blue eyes. my mom. the oldest child was tall boy, looked to be around 9 with curly, brown hair and blue eyes. my brother thomas who was off at college when this whole thig happened. the second boy was shorter with the same featured as the older brother and looked about 4 years old, but with round, black glasses that covered green eyes. my brother matthew. the last of the children, was a baby girl with short tuffs of straight chestnut hair and heterochromia, one green eye, one blue eye, in my moms arms. that was me.

i jumped at a voice from behind me 'whatcha looking at?'

i turned to see carl 'stop scaring me i swear to god.'

he chucked 'sorry. but seriously, what are you looking at?'

i sat beside him on the bottom bunk, showing him the photo. 'just an old family photo. my mom would get a new one done and replace it every time they had a new kid. she grabbed it when we ran, so i did the same.

he took the picture out my hands to admire it 'you were a very cute baby.' we both chuckle. 'who's that?' he pointed to thomas.

'my oldest brother. i only told you about one of them, matthew.' i pointed to the middle child. thomas was off at college when this all started. he was 20 so he was off at college, stanford. the last Christmas before all this was the last time i saw him, i'm pretty sure he's dead now.'

carl wiped away a stray tear that i hadn't even noticed fall as he pulled me into a side hug, comforting me.