I Hope (CP9 again woohoo)

I hope

Lucci sat in his chair as he looked at the other sleeping CP9 members. They all rested on the couch, knowing they were safe, because they had Lucci watching them.

He let out a low hum as he ran his fingers through Kumadori's hair. he leaned back in his chair and allowed himself to get lost in his thoughts. His senses didn't lessen, they remained strong, but he wasn't present.

I remember... When they would throw rocks.
They threw them when I misbehaved, like when I cried, or when I failed.
I wasn't allowed to be afraid, either, I think.

I think I remember being cold. It was snowing, and they didn't like that I was upset. I can't hold body heat, I think.
So they threw me outside in the snow, in shorts and nothing else.
And I cried. That was the last time I cried.

I remember clearly, when I was locked up. They took everything I had collected, and they threw it at me, and broke it.

They would grab my tail and pull it, and even if it hurt, I'd stay quiet.

I remember the injections and pills. The pills were to keep me strong and held together. The injections were to keep me in check and docile.

I remember...

I remember being younger. I remember holding Kaku and Kalifa when they were babies, and being taught that song that Kaori would sing to them.

And I remember singing it to them, every time they cried for no reason.

I remember feeding them, holding them, letting them sleep on me...

Sometimes I wonder...
Why do they trust me?

He retracted his hand from Kumadori's head and looked at his face.

I am strong. They know this. I could hurt them. I could pull off Kumadori's head right now, and he would have never expected it.

But why? He should expect it. I am that sort of person. I am a threat. I am made as a monster, but they, for some reason, see me as... soft. I am not soft, but for them, I'd like to be. I want them to see me as fluffy and friendly, even if I'm not. I want to have their traits.

They are perfect. They fit in. They are everything I want to be, and I can't express that without having to have more rocks thrown at me, without having to be beaten again.

I care about them.

I hope they know.