Anymore

Chapter 9

Marlena sat at the edge of her bed folding clothes and startled at the knock on the door. "Come in."

Carrie entered the room, carrying a large envelope. She gently shut the door behind her. "Sami's passed out already." Carrie sat on the bed.

Marlena continued folding. "At 9pm on a Friday? That's a first."

Carrie grabbed some laundry and started folding. "She was upset... she thinks you're mad at her."

Marlena stopped and looked up. "Why would she think I'm mad at her?"

Carrie shrugged. "The letter's and pictures."

Marlena grabbed a pile of folded clothes and walked to the dresser. "I'm not mad... I'm..." She shoved the clothes into the draw and slammed it shut.

Carrie watched her intently. "Hurt?"

Marlena slowly turned towards Carrie and smiled sadly. She is so grown and mature! She thought to herself. She nodded her head gently. "Hurt yeah... jealous is probably another good word." She walked over and sat on the opposite side of the bed after moving the empty laundry basket to the floor. She leaned back against the headboard pulling her legs up to stretch out in front of her, dragging a pillow to her lap and placing her clenched fists on top. "I miss them so much, it's killing me that John didn't write to me."

Carrie tossed the envelope in the middle of the bed. She scooped up all the folded socks and walked to the dresser. "You're welcome to read them." She pointed towards the envelope.

Marlena ran her hand over the envelope wistfully. "That's sweet of you honey... but those are your private letters, I respect that. John obviously wants nothing to do with me ..."

Carrie plopped down next to her, grabbing and holding her hand that rested on the envelope. "Why?"

"Why...what?" Marlena shrugged.

Carrie grinned. "Why won't daddy talk to you? Why did he pick up and move to God only knows where?"

"I can't talk about this Carrie." Marlena released Carrie's hand and slipped off the bed. As soon as she stood straight she immediately grabbed her side, hunching over to brace herself on the nightstand. Carrie rushed around the bed. "Mom!"

"I'm okay, I'm okay..." Marlena started taking deep breaths.

"No, you're not! I've seen this happen several times mom! Most recently the other day after that argument you had with Roman!"

Marlena took slow deep breaths. She stood up straighter. "It's passing." Carrie grabbed her arm and helped her to sit back down. Marlena sat with her eyes closed. Carrie kneeled in front of her and reached up to wipe away the tear that rolled down her cheek.

"Mom... please talk to me. Whatever this is, it's eating at you!" She wiped away more of her mothers silent tears. "You know you always said when I turned 18, you'd treat me like an adult."

Marlena glanced at her sideways. "Nice try, you had that deal with your Daddy not me."

Carrie giggled. "Okay fair enough, but it's true Marlena. I am an adult and I want to help... or at the very least listen. Please..." She squeezed Marlena's hand. Carrie stood up and sat next to Marlena.

Marlena sallowed roughly. "I... I already told you, he left because of me."

"But why do you think that?"

Marlena cried and shook her head. "I don't think that... I know that."

"Okay... how do you know that?"

She took Carrie's hand. "Because I broke his heart... again."

Carrie rubbed her free hand up and down Marlena's back hoping to ease the sobs that Marlena was releasing. "Broke his heart, how?"

Marlena grabbed a tissue off the night stand and wiped her nose. "When we were stuck in that pit... a whole Pandora's box was opened. Things we thought were in the past just came to the surface again."

"You mean like your feelings for each other?"

Marlena nodded. "We thought we were going to die in there together. And that brought our bond back to the surface. We said things that one would only say if they thought that they were about to die." She looked at Carrie with an arched eyebrow.

Carrie nodded. "You admitted you still loved each other?"

Marlena drew a deep breath. "Not in so many words... but John and I never needed words for things like that. We just... knew."

Carrie giggled. "When I was little I alway thought you two could read each other's minds... you always finished each other's sentences."

Marlena chuckled despite herself. "Well... after that interview we did together after we got out of the pit, everything came to the surface and we admitted to each other that we still loved each other, that we were still in love with each other. We admitted that we never really stopped, we just pushed it down so we could move on with our lives."

Carrie smiled gently, but Marlena shook her head sadly. "It wasn't a happy confession sweetie... we were both miserable."

"But why? If you loved each other..."

"Because honey I knew nothing could ever come of it... I'm married to Roman."

Carrie closed her eyes in anger and rose from the bed. "Marlena, come on! That is the most... most... 1950's excuse ever!"

"What?" Marlena shook her head in confusion.

"You and Roman could have gotten a divorce!"

"I couldn't DO that!! He suffered for years..."

Carrie rolled her eyes. "Yes... yes he did because of Stefano! Where is it written that you needed to make up for everything that dad suffered while he was gone?"

"He's my husband, I had to at least try..."

Carrie took a step back. "See that is where you and I disagree... he WAS your husband. When Roman came back, you were married to John!"

Marlena stood up abruptly and shouted. "And John was engaged to Isabella!" Marlena stumbled a bit and landed on her knees.

Carrie rushed to her. "Mom! Oh my goodness..."

Carrie put her arm around Marlena and tried to help her up. She leaned on the bed to try and support her mothers weight. "Mom... we need to get you to the hospital!"

"No..." Marlena was barely able to say above a whisper.

"Yes! Mom, mom look at the bed where you were sitting... you're bleeding! There is blood on the comforter!"

Marlena glanced at the bed and cradled her stomach tightly. "Oh... please no..." she mumbled as she fell to the floor.

"Hang on Mom... I'm calling an ambulance!"

Marlena gently reached out and grabbed her hand. "No Carrie..."

"But Marlena..."

She shook her head. "Just drive me... please!"

Carrie sighed. "You're impossible! Can you make it to the car? And what about Sami?"

Marlena struggled but got to her feet. "Just let her sleep... I'm sure it's something minor."

"And Roman?"

Marlena held her stomach and took a deep breath shaking her head. "Let's just go..."