Maria

There's this girl named Maria. She's the kind of girl who smiles and laughs as if she has no problems at all. She's the kind of girl who you would instantly notice in a sea of crowd, because she's glowing as bright as the sun. She has this vibe that would attract you to be with her, because you would forget everything when she's by your side, from her crazy adventures that she loves to tell, to her countless of jokes that she always boast.

We met a couple of years back, we were never classmates nor batch-mates, but we were schoolmates, and we have the same college and program. I was a freshman back then, you're one year ahead from me. You're an admin of the group that I am in, and you are so active-giving us updates from time to time, welcoming each and every one of us with your giddy-giddy side.

Fortunately for me, we became friends. We have a mutual friend, and I thank God for letting me have this opportunity to get to know you better, to be this close to you. After being introduced, we started communicating through texts, and e-mails. I even slip letters to your locker every now and then, it surely is tremendous seeing you smile while reading them. I feel like I won the lottery or something.

We usually hang out during our vacant periods, eat lunch, casually enjoy a cup of coffee just to be relieved from the stress we're currently in, and walk home together as if we can never be apart. We were happy, genuinely happy....until the day that you told me you'll shift in to another degree program. I dreaded that day, not because of what you did, but because of what happened in the process.

During the first few weeks of that term, we were okay-we can still manage our schedules. Even though we barely eat lunch together, we still wait for one another so we could walk home side by side. We still set dates so we could drink coffee and just catch up with what's happening with our lives. We managed, we did, but what happened now?

We barely see each other, we were so focused with our subjects that we didn't even had a chance to meet. We grew apart, we went our separate ways. You're always busy with him, that you forgot about me. I got jealous, but do I have the right to? You are not mine, to begin with.

The term ended, and I'm glad that you remembered me. You told me to come meet you up because you're gonna tell me something important, and so I did. But man, I wasn't even surprised with what you have told me. You are in love. Not with me, but with that guy named Keane. And damn, I didn't know this kind of pain is possible.

I told you, I'll support you. You smiled, you actually smiled. How I wish I was the reason behind that wonderful smile of yours, but no, it's him. I told you, I'm gonna support you, even though it hurts, because I love you. Damn it, I love you, Maria. Can't you feel it? I guess not.

That son of a bitch, that bastard. How could he hurt you like that? I know that he loves you, but why didn't he bother saying it? Instead, what? He fucking played with your feelings. I swear, if it wasn't for you I'd beat the shit out of that guy. How can he hurt the one that I love?

For days and days, I started comforting you. Told you he's a fucktard, but you'll get mad and say otherwise. He's a great guy, it's just that he's not into me. I love him, but he loves her. It's what you always say, and then you'll start crying once more. Do you know how painful it is seeing the one you love cry because the person that she loves hurt him? Oh God, it's killing me.

A year passed, and we made a deal to allot time so we could keep up with one another. And so we did. You're starting to regain your energy, your happiness, once more. Little by little, the Maria that I knew was getting better and better. Even livelier than before, and God, how it brings out the joy in me.

It gets better and better, and so that's what I thought. I was almost ready to confess about my undying love for you, when I saw you running down the hall. I followed you, until we reached the back of the school. And then after I called your name, you looked up, hugged me and utter the words that surely shattered my heart into millions and millions of pieces.

Vince, I thought I can handle it. I thought I've already moved on. But why am I feeling that a hole was drilled right through my heart? Keane, he's in a relationship with May. And it kills me, this fucking pain will be the death of me, Vince.

I thought you've already moved on, but I guess not. I thought you're already happy with me, but I guess not. I thought you're already getting better, but I guess not. I thought you felt that we already have a connection, but I guess not. I thought you already knew that I love you, but I guess not. I thought I can have my chance already, but I guess not.

Maria, oh sweet darling Maria. How I love to hear about your amazing adventures, how I love to laugh at your insane jokes, and how I love to see you smile even for once more. Where did you hide the real Maria? Have you gotten tired of laughing already? Have you gotten tired of being happy and carefree? Oh Maria, I would even trade my soul to the devil just to see your old self once more.

The way your eyes twinkle when you smile, now glistens with tears every once in a while. The way your lips form into a radiant smile, now curves into endless frowns. The way your laugh rose above the crowd, now hides deep within your sobs. As the saying goes that people change and feelings fade, I know your broken heart will surely mend. In time, Maria, in time, I will save you from your loneliness and emptiness. I will make you whole again, when I fixed mine.