Battle The Brave! (South Park Style!!)

Chapter One: My life began in quicksand

"Stan, are you okay-?" Kyle asked, looking over to his best friend who seemed to have zoned out. He seemed to be looking at the girl he dated way back in 4th grade.. Wendy Testaburger. 

She had gotten a MASSIVE glow up since the 8th grade.. her hair was longer, her eyes were more vibrant, her outfit was to die for, and her body was perfect.. god damn it looked like she was blessed by Aphrodite. She was beautiful, it looked like pretty much most of the boys were looking at her.. well, Excepts for Kyle, Craig, Tweek and Axel. Two of the boys are afab and only like men, and the others are just gay. 

Axel turned around to face Kyle, and he was giggling a bit. "Yo Wendy been on some shit, huh?" He says, keeping his smile covered as he spoke. Nobody has ever seen Axels smile anyways, so it didn't really matter. "She lookin' like a whole new bitch. Shit man, bro's finna gets more hoes than just Tolkien at this point!" He turned back around, laughing a bit more. He spoke with a light Irish accent, that was pretty much easy to hear.

Kyle shook his head and bashed it onto the desk, but nobody noticed. Well, except for Cartman, but he just didn't care. If Wendy looked this good, just IMAGINE what Bebe is gonna look like. She's probably gonna be the biggest talk of the school! 

All of this was way too much. Kyle raised his hand to see if he can use the restroom, just to sit in there and get a break from all this chatter. At least he had one thing in order. 

This school project was DEFINITELY gonna be made alone. 

Once Mr. Willow gave the signal, Kyle was gone. He made his way to the restroom, and just sat there, on the floor, staring at the door. He was completely stressed out, and he was afraid that Stan was gonna fall hard for Wendy again. If that happens, they'll prolly get together again, and then they'll break up, she'll move on, and he'll be emo as hell for about a month and keep calling him a confederate. 

After a couple of minutes, he watches the door as Axel walks in. He has his phone in one hand, and some sort of small metal box in the other-? Whatever, it had nothing to do with him.

(TW: VAPING IS MENTIONED IN THE NEXT COUPLE PARAGRAPHS, AND WILL BE A SOMEWHAT BIG PART LATER IN THE BOOK! I WILL WRITE WHEN THE TW IS OVER, PLEASE SCROLL PAST!!) 

"Yo dude, you aight? You just walked out o' the class for no reason, and you is never the one to use a school bathroom, bud. Wassup." He asked, sitting down next to Kyle. He'd put that metal box to his mouth, and once he pulled it away, smoke came out of his nose... what kind of a cigarette is that? 

"Ah no, I'm fine, just.." Kyle sighs before continuing. "I'm scared Stan is gonna get back with Wendy and then she just breaks his heart again. I guess thats just what girls like to do or something, and I'd absolutely despise seeing Stan become emo again! I care about him, I don't wanna see him get hurt. Not again, and not like that." His voice cracked a bit, and sounded like he was gonna cry. 

Axel had a face of concern, as he blew more smoke. H honestly had no Idea what to say to Kyle that would make him feel better about this. He let out a deep sigh as he looked down and thought. "Dude, you gots to let go. He ain't gonna learn shit if you trynna hold his hopeless ass back. It's like putting an elephant in an aquarium, there's no way for it to learn and adapt. You get what I'm sayin'?" 

"Dude, it's not that easy though! It's like.. ugh! I care about him too much to not put him in the aquarium. The zoo will only hurt him, and the wild is way too much for him! In other words.. I just wanna keep him, safe. And okay. And by my side... holy shit I think I'm obsessed with Stan." 

Axel burst into laughter, covering his face to hide his smile. Kyle's sudden realization was so funny to him, he couldn't help it. "Omg.. You JUST realized?!" Axel says, laughing more before he continues. "Me and Eric knew for so long bro, you'd hold onto that hoe like he was some valuable treasure!" 

Kyle sat in silence, watching Axel laugh his ass off right next to him. He was a bit red in the face from embarrassment. So what if he was obsessed with Stan? They were only friends, and Kyle isn't gay. He could never be gay! "Oh yeah yeah, but it's normal to be obsessed with your friend! I mean, you're always with Eric, so yeah!" He says back to Axel, rolling his eyes. 

"That's cuz I dated that nigga for a month and he has some dirt on me. If I let that hoe go, he gon' show and say shit that only he know." Axel responds, his laughing immediately stopping and his face going pale. He took another blow from that metal box of his, once again releasing smoke from his nose. It finally got to Kyle wtf he was doing. 

"Okay.. but off topic, what are you fucking smoking!? Its a metal box with words.. I've never seen that before." He asked, squinting his eyes and looking at the box once again. 

Axel looked at Kyle like he was crazy. Was the man that proper and weird that he didn't know what it was? "Dude, it's called a vape. Or as I like to call it, nic. Are you that fucking stupid?" Axel says, getting up and dusting himself off. 

"So its just like smoking a cigarette?" 

"Well I mean.. yeah? Just, electronic." 

"Can I try it?" 

"Bet." 

(TW OVER!!) 

Little did Kyle know, he was starting something he was gonna get stuck on.