Crown of Starlight

Chapter 15

I descended the stairs to the entrance of the tomb where my family were put to rest and continued on down a narrow spiral staircase. The dark hallway lit up by dimly lit lanterns of fae light was cold and aerie leaving a trail of goosebump along my arms. I tucked my arms close to my chest, something about being in the tomb of the dead always sent a chill down my spine. Goosebumps formed along my eyes as I entered the main chamber. Rows upon rows of stones engraved with the names of my descendants lined the walls. The names of all those who has come before me. Many of them previous monarchs who unlike me succeeded in their roles. I wondered if any of them watched over me with disappointment or pity. Their headstones now worn from age made it easier to spot the recently added ones. I paused. Fresh flowers lay at the foot of the tombs containing Xander, my father and step mother. I looked to my left to see someone had also left a bunch of white roses for my mother. My father used to leave white roses by her tomb all the time and it appeared someone else also knew that too.

I approached the tomb engrave with my brothers name. A lump formed in my throat. I touched the cold stone. Cold. This place was so cold. Xander was the warmest person I know, he doesn't deserve to be down here. I do. "Xander" his name echoed off the walls of this silent place. Tears stung my eyes and I began to sob. The uncontrollable type of sob, the type that takes your breath away and leaves you gasping for air. "Xander" my voice cracked. I feel completely and utterly broken. When you think of pain you think of the physical kind but this Invisible torture was excruciating and i would trade being physically beaten over this any day. I rested my forehead against the stone wishing I could hug him, just one more time. "I'm sorry" tears spilled from my eyes. "I'm so sorry". The air ripped out of me. I peered to the left to my fathers and step mothers tombs. I was sad they weren't here. I just wanted to see them again. To see them all again. To tell them face to face how sorry I was for everything. I sobbed and sobbed until my sadness turned to anger. "You left me." I choked back another sob. "You left me Xander! I don't know what the fuck I'm doing! I don't want any of this. I don't want to live here without you...and you fucking left me!" I hit the tomb over and over. "You promised you would never leave me! You promised!....Please come back." For a second I thought I felt a soothing touch down my cheek, like I wasn't here alone. I heard the faint sound of approaching footsteps but I couldn't control myself, Just like I couldn't control this magic. I slumped against the tomb and slid down to the ground "I'm sorry...I'm so sorry."

Gentle hands gripped me. I fell into the familiar arms of Yetta. Her warm scent and loving strokes down my back immediately comforted me. I must of cried an ocean by the time she released me. "I'm sorry" I sobbed again. Yetta took my face in her hands. "Sweetheart. This is not your fault."

I nodded. "Yes it is. I was the reason Xander was in that situation. I was the reason he made that stupid deal and went to the void in the first place."

"No. Xander and your father made that decision. They both loved you so much. Don't you think for one second that they're on the other side regretting the decisions that brought you home. They would have gone to the void eventually. You can't live like this Aurora. They wouldn't want you to punish yourself over their deaths."

"Yettas right." A voice chimed in. I straightened and wiped my tears with the back of my hand. Nuri joined us, a bouquet of white roses in her hands. She sat down besides us taking my hand.

"You don't deserve to live with the guilt of this." She added.

"Maybe I do." I sniffed eyeing the white roses in her lap.

"You want to make it up to them? Be the Queen Xander would want you to be. Do it for him. Make him proud." Yetta said.

I tried my best to smile. "You put roses by my mothers tomb." I looked to Nuri.

"Yes. Father used to do it. I thought it was only right to carry that on for him" Nuri replied. I envied Nuri's strength. I was the elder one yet here I am completely falling apart in this underground graveyard.

"Why don't we say a prayer" Yetta suggested and we both nodded our agreement. We took each others hands as Yetta began to pray to our family and the gods and I think we both found comfort and peace in her words.