reflux

Chapter 1: explaining why I needed to see a doctor

The beginning of the year was normal. but at my fall vacation it took a downturn I was off from school my dad threw up a few times and I'm deathly afraid of hearing about someone throwing up  seeing someone throw up   and  throwing up myself  so after my dad got sick I started to worry every night about throwing up. two days after my dad had gotten sick I woke up in the middle of the night complaining to my mom about being nauseous and I ended up having a long panic attack about throwing up which ended with me having really bad diarrhea, but it didn't end there after I had diarrhea i only ate pretzels for two days until my mom forced me to eat I was super nervous to eat real food but I ate anyway I still got nauseous from time to time.

 one day after my acting class I took every Tuesday I   felt really sick  my mom told me  it was all in my head  but after awhile I actually threw up my mom thought I made myself sick but I threw up again after my mom made me shower and my mom knew I was sick.

  after that day  I got nauseous a lot, sometimes  I would even refuse to go to school since  I was too nauseous to  leave my bed, because standing up made me more nauseous then sitting. 

   one week I didn't go to school on a Monday because I felt really sick  my grandma came to watch me I was having a panic attack so my brother who was doing online high school classes asked my grandma if he could talk to her alone my grandma said yes and followed my brother into a room in my house and shut the door he wasn't good at being quiet so I heard every word  he said which was Lisa's been like this a lot she's been having panic attacks all the time  I think we should call the mental hospital my grandma insisted I was fine. after that I went to my room and sat up on my bed my grandma say in my chair while I watched Jessie and stuck in the middle all day.

  when my mom came home I was nervous since it was dinner time and I was really nauseous that day but my mom made me eat soup I was nauseous that night but I don't think I threw up

   the next day I went to school and I was fine  I felt pretty normal and going to school was a but step for me but the next  day   I got super nauseous at school  since no one knew I was physically sick and everyone  thought it was physiological three school counselors since we have a lot had to help me to try and  calm down so I wouldn't feel sick. they kept   trying to help me throughout the day eventually they gave up and called my mom to come and  get me.

 My mom drove me home it was good thing  that day that I had psychiatry  appointment that evening.

  At home I  felt slightly better outside so when my psychiatry appointment actually happened I was only in the room for a short time after that I really needed to go outside so I did. After the appointment my mom came outside and told me   I got prescribed an anxiety medication that they give you in emergency situations I came to the pharmacy with her to pick it up there I wasn't as anxious since I got distracted by the toy section which had my favorite thing: word search books  the medicine worked anxiety wise that night was the first night I had laughed in weeks after awhile I felt really sick the anxiety medicine was no longer working I felt and anxious every night and I was nauseous every night I wouldn't gag every night but I would still feel sick every night  when I Gagged  nothing would come out I would just make a  gagging noise. my mom always asked me what I was gagging on I always told her fear in between my gags but she said you can't gag on fear , you have to be gagging on something  but I had no clue what I was gagging on 

every night she'd tell me to spit it out but I just couldn't whatever I was gagging on didn't want to come out.

Awhile After that I was to nauseous I wouldn't eat any food I'd have the occasional lunch here and there but basically nothing. After a week of not eating the gagging got worse I wasn't just gagging it became gagging and then throwing up, but my mom was confused why I was throwing up  because I hadn't really eaten any food in a really long time  so she didn't understand why and what I was throwing up.

After three weeks of no eating, gagging, and throwing up every night  my mom scheduled me  a doctors appointment. she still thought the throwing up was in my head the reason she wanted to take me to  a doctor was  because she was worried about my Weight because I hadn't eaten any food  in  a prolonged Period of time. Honestly I was ok with the doctor's appointment I knew doctors were there to help and I was a little worried about my weight too because I didn't want to die and may be the could help me with my nausea and help me with my weight.

one things for sure  though What didn't help me through all of this was that  whenever I was nauseous my brother would try to convince my parents I needed to go to a mental hospital, he said if they wouldn't call he would call for them.