The ominous creature of fear lurks in the shadows, waiting to pounce when you least expect it. It's a shiver inducing feeling that encircles you, stopping you in your tracks and trapping you in its grip. Fear accompanies you everywhere you go and hovers just outside the confines of your awareness. It is a constant companion, infiltrating each aspect of your life and stifling your aspirations while poisoning your relationships. The thorns of fear can leave you feeling powerless, unable to advance or take chances. As you tremble in fear's wake, the mere thought of loneliness sends chills down your spine. You may feel trapped in your own mind, unable to break free from the cold, unrelenting grasp of your deepest fears. Fear becomes a prison from which there is no escape, a neverending cycle of despair and anguish that serves as a constant reminder that true freedom may never be at tainable. Now, as I look back on my life, I realize that fear has been my constant companion. It has shaped me in ways that I never could have imagined, moulding me into a person who is trapped in the darkness. Loneliness is tough, we all faced it, and although being around others helped me a bit, it never quite did the trick for me. It was tiring to constantly seek company, I wasn't good at fitting in, and that was exhausting, people were exhausting. These constant assumptions kept me thinking that I would just run away from everything, anything... The irony of it, afraid to be lonely, yet you run away to be by yourself just to get rid of the hallucinations you've created. Now I know that running was never the best option. Fear is normal unless you create i t and live in fake scenarios, that's when it gets dark. I'm still learning how not to do that, and perhaps for the first time I could change even when others couldn't, and even if they dragged me into that loop of nightmares, I'd survive them, because all I ever wanted was peace with myself, and fear was always a dilemma. It's the reason why you always have this conflict between what your mind wants and what your heart desires. Your heart craves for the person you once cherished, while your mind grapples with the reality of who you have become. Everyone is afraid of something, they’re afraid of letting go of the things they love, afraid that they will vanish. Afraid to live those moments again. It wasn't easy after all. Despite having big wounds that don't heal, I finally accepted that awful things happen to good people. When the sparkle in her eyes that brought me back to life faded forever, I stood there alone, sitting in silence, slowly dying inside. The fact that she's gone forever was a difficult realization at that time. It was not an easy task to let go of the memories we shared and accept that they were no longer real. it was an emptiness that was once filled. It felt like a wound that wouldn't heal, a bitter truth that I had to face. But eventually, I learned to accept it and move forward, cherishing the moments we shared while looking ahead to new beginnings. Not regretting the journey, and excited for what's next, perhaps I’ll learn how to love more, better than how to fear less, I'll at least find a truce with myself, even though all I can write are sour words, a reflection of a sad past, where sweet things happen in the beginnings, but the end kills. Now all I have is hope and empty words that illustrate the agony and shed light on the fears we share . The same fears that keeps haunting me in the stillness of the night, making me wonder, is it worthwhile to share my fright with you ?
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Forsaken Words ( Anthology Made With Pain )
Spiritual"feeling isolated can undermine our ability to think clearly, an effect that has a certain poetic justice to it"
