"Do you love him that much? That you live in misery with him? Hanggang kailan mo hahayaan ang sarili mong hindi gumaling?" a very old memory flashed into my mind.
I stopped shading my lips with my red lipstick. I looked at myself in the mirror as I tried to find any weakness in me. I breathed heavily.
Ibinaba ko ang hawak at itinukod ang dalawang kamay sa vanity, hindi ko inasahan na ngayon pa magpaparamdam sa akin ang mga ala-alang matagal ko nang binaon. Kinalimutan at iniwan.
Pinikit ko ng mariin ang mata, kasabay nang pagsara ko sa libro ng mga kabanata na iyon ng buhay ko sa aking isipan. Those fragile moments, where I experienced every level of pain and depression. I've had enough, one day I just woke up and realized I did my best and I've had enough.
I moved on. I recovered. I am healed.
As I was recovering, hindi iyon madali, hindi siya madali na halos maubusan ako ng bait. Those were also the times I started to frequently go to church, I even memorized my favorite verse. It certainly helped with my healing and containing peace.
I stopped with my thoughts when I heard footsteps near my door. I fixed my posture and continued putting on my makeup.
"Yara, be faster. Nakakahiya. Maghihintay ang Tita at Tito mo." ni Mommy sa labas ng kwarto ko.
"I'm coming." sagot ko at nagmamadali nang lumakad palabas.
This day was so hectic. Halos hindi pa ako nakakahinga nang makarating ako ng bahay kanina galing sa aking job interview, ay nag-ayos na ako agad para sa dinner na ito.
Kung hindi lang dahil kay Tita Anica at Tito Wancho, mananahimik na lang ako dito sa bahay. Pagod rin ako.
Mabilis akong humakbang pababa ng hagdan, si Mommy ay nag-aantay na sa bungad paakyat nito. "Are you ready?" bungad niya sa akin. Natigilan ako.
Am I ready? I will never be ready.
But what's the point of being healed if I cannot face this?
It's been years. I grew up.
Tumango lang ako sa kanya. Lumabas na kami galing sa front door, sa harap ay nag-aantay ang SUV na itim ni Daddy. Naka-on na ang engine ng sasakyan inaantay na lang kami. Nasa loob na rin nag-aantay si Daddy at si Manong Robi.
Sumakay na kami sa loob, napagitnaan ako ng dalawa. "Let's go, Manong." si Daddy.
Nakarating kami sa restaurant after twenty minutes. I think they reserved a VIP table kaya sa private rooms kami papunta. Habang naglalakad, nagsimula na rin akong pawisan.
The sudden tingling in my chest and my heavy breathing bothered me. As I walk, palakas na ng palakas ang kabog ng puso ko. I touched my chest and tried to calm myself. Bakit naman ako kakabahan?
Maybe because I haven't seen them for four years? Or because a lot of things have changed?
But still Yara, there's no reason to be nervous.
Binuksan na ni Daddy ang pinto, pumasok na sila at panghuli akong pumasok sa loob. There are three people inside, nilibot ko ang mata ko.
But in the end, I smiled at Tita Anica and Tito Wancho, they still looked the same like they haven't aged at all.
Maliban sa isa.
I stared at him. He grew taller and it's very obvious even if he's sitting, his shoulders become broader, and his chest was very evident in his semi-tight white polo. The sleeves are folded up until his elbows. His hair was brushed up showing his clean undercut.
BINABASA MO ANG
Under the Stars (Tonjuarez Series I)
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