One and only warning: This book contains religion, catholic guilt, sex addiction, drug abuse, graphic sexual content and heavy violence. Read at your own discretion.
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"I am a priest, Anna. A child of god. You are a temptation," He whispered out, h...
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Black.
That is all I saw.
Pitch black.
My cuticles started to bleed after picking them for so long. I was so uncomfortable, my eyes couldn't stop panning around the pitch black that was in front of me. It was hard to catch my breath, this wasn't very easy for me. The first time wasn't that easy, I couldn't imagine that this time would be any different.
Fingers on the pad, moving in circles to light up the screen in front of me. I was waiting for my therapist to join this Zoom call. I had a lot to talk about today, I thought. Harry was at work, I was thankful for that because I was certainly going to be talking about him the majority of the time.
Going to bed with uncertainty of your own relationship is a sickening feeling, like you could wake up in a pool of your own vomit from the amount of love you have for someone. That vomit; the bile, it had desperation mixed into it.
I wished I could say that I ate this morning, but it's half past eleven and my stomach was aching with worry and unhappiness, I couldn't bear to stomach anything. Instead, I took my medication with an iced coffee and that was my breakfast for that morning.
Watching the loading screen turn and turn made me more nervous, I was sucking up the blood up from harming my fingers in such a way, hoping that it wasn't that noticeable, but I was glad that it wasn't an in-patient appointment or she would've scolded me for these nervous ticks.
When the loading screen finally came to a halt, I was met with the entry screen that asked me to turn my camera on. I fixed my posture, trying to put a smile on my face as I clicked the join button and waited once again to a black screen, but that screen only lasted seconds before she showed up on the screen.
"Anna? Hello!" She rang out with a toothy smile.
I sighed, placing a fist on my chest with a smile, "Hello! How are you today?"
"I'm good! It's a bit rainy today, isn't it?"
"It is."
Beside me was the kitchen window. I decided to sit in the kitchen for this appointment. It felt safe in there and the smell of sweet bread helped my stomach have some sort of an appetite for food. Rain patted down the windows, racing each other until it hit the seal and their replicated competitors would soon start after them.
"So, how have you been, then? I'm not used to Zoom calls, most of my patients like to come in and see me." She stated. She was busying herself with something on her desk.
"Okay, full honesty, I haven't been that good," I swallowed, "And um, yeah, I'm preferable to–zoom calls."
"That's not a problem," Her eyes met the camera, it looked as though she was staring me in the eyes, "I just like to be personable, but it is not a problem. You said that you haven't been good, what's been going on, Anna?"
