Reason to Hate

Chapter One - Trace

A/n.
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I dunno where this is going but I'm bored out of my mind and this is the best way I can keep out of trouble. I've not given up on the other stories.

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Chapter One.

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The crowd roared as Dylan struck up the drums. It was a song that they loved, one I had written for someone that would sadly never hear it. Imagining he was somewhere hiding in the crowd I caressed the mic and poured out my heart. All the yearning, all the things I never had a chance to say I'd written in verse.

The beat was slow and the crowd moved with me as the music washed over all of us, wrapping the atmosphere in a seductive embrace. In different corners I saw couples cuddle and I hoped the distance from the stage would hide the tears that slid down the sides of my eyes. There was no holding them back. Not tonight.

Packed to the max, the club was humid even though the wide windows facing the beach were open, I didn't mind. I liked the heat rolling off my nape, soaking the blue shirt beneath my black leather jacket and it was obvious some of the ladies liked it too. Smiling, I winked at the shy brunette in front, she'd been reluctant to come forward before but as the night wore on she and her friends had pushed their way to the front.

Dylan switched up the beat again and this time it was a lively song, a club anthem so the crowd practically sang with me.

I take this bullet for love
I'll run round the world
Find your heartbeat deaf
It's all words if I don't believe
You really love me.

Writhing, people moved electrified by the beat as the lights flashed. The crowd was in a frenzy but I wasn't focused on their faces anymore. Someone caught my eye. In a teeming club filled with people dancing, one man standing still seemed impossible to notice but I did. Raising his glass to salute me, he leaned back against the wall so nonchalantly, it made my blood boil.

Turning around as Lie To Me ended, I thanked the crowd and gave Dylan a sign. He looked confused for a second, the song was new, one we've never played in public before. He opened his mouth to protest but I gave the sign again. Play 13. "Thanks guys, tonight has been so great I feel so sad stopping here" Just as I expected the crowd groaned and I laughed then said, "Alright, just one more before I leave. Never played before so you all are getting a treat" and picked up my guitar.

They cheered and Ben started with the sticks, "One - two - three" then Dylan took off beating the drums like a man possessed. There was a pause and I started singing, maintaining eye contact with the older man in a black shirt. If just the thought of him made me mad then seeing him here in my club made my blood boil.

He had no right to just walk into my life because he was ready to know me. Where was he when I needed him? When mum was dying? As far as I was concerned he could turn around and take his blood money elsewhere, I'm not impressed. There's nothing he could possibly give me now that I couldn't get for myself.

Dropping my voice lower, the instrument in my arms came to life as I crooned the provocative words.

Hop on my dick anytime baby and do a full split
I like my boys bad, on a beach, in the shower
I really don't care as long as they let me drive em wild

I was too far away to see his expression but my message was obvious, if dad dearest didn't want to stick around for drinks later I won't mind.

*****

"Good show guys" Sean Jackson called out immediately we stepped backstage. Our manager had changed his hair so much I couldn't tell what his natural color was. Tonight he was dressed in black, eyeliner and lipstick included. If I didn't know how old he really was, I'd take him for a punk or some street kid. "You killed it"

"Sure we did, did you expect anything less?" Dylan drawled in his usual fashion as we entered the dressing room. I could hear the cheer from the crowd as a popular DJ took the stage. Dragging my feet, I passed the guys and headed towards my personal cubicle.

"Hey Trace" Ben called out and the bottom of my stomach fell out as I looked up into his dull grey eyes. "There's some guy out here with a pass, says you know him"

For a second I considered saying no, but that'd be stupid. I invited him here. After that display on stage if he was still willing to stick around and chew fat then I'd give him the benefit of the doubt. "It's alright, tell him to wait I'll be out" pulling off my jacket and soaked shirt, I grabbed a change of clothes and walked to the bathroom.

Game face on in a fresh shirt, I made my way out back and spotted him immediately. I shouldn't have wondered if I'd recognise him, we could almost pass for each other if I was much older or he had less grey in his hair.

I stood there waiting as we checked out each other, his face gave nothing away. I knew that face. Dark brows with brown eyes, a thick nose that jutted out from a strong face and square cheekbones. I saw that face in the mirror every day.

"You little faggot" he sneered and I braced myself. I knew it, somehow I'd known this man would not accept me. Maybe Dylan would get off my case now, he was the reason why I contacted this asshole in the first place.

Silently I watched him, waiting for more. The barrage of insults and then the dismissal.

"Faggot" he repeated again testing me when I didn't respond, he was standing still with his hands in his pockets, his words as bland as his face. "That's what you want to hear isn't it? I mean cmon, that's the entire purpose of this show"

"What?"

"You think I'll take one look, see you're homosexual and walk away" he didn't sound angry, there was something in his voice. Something I couldn't quite place.

"Yes" There was no denying it. After what mum had said, I didn't expect anything less.

"Too bad you didn't give me the benefit of the doubt" rock still, I was startled as warm arms drew me into his thick chest, "I don't care who you fcuk Trace, as long as you're safe" he grunted, hugging me tight.

Wide eyed, I watched him draw away and look down at me, he was just a few inches taller and up close a could spot a few other differences too. He didn't have a mole sitting just above the right corner of his top lip.

"I've always loved you and your sexual preference doesn't change that"

Pulling his hands off my shoulders I stepped even further away from him, "If you loved me then why did you leave? Why didn't you take me with you?"

He sighed and looked around the back of the club. There were crates piled up neatly at one side and a dumpster that didn't hold much, so it didn't stink. "I don't think this is the best place for this talk, kiddo. Meet me for drinks tomorrow and I'll answer any questions you have for me, I swear"

Shrugging, "You have my number now, send me the details but not tomorrow" I said as I pulled the door open, letting the loud stream of music flow out, "I have things to do"