It doesn't happen every day, but sometimes like today I think about you. I don't know. I don't understand. I loved you so much and all you ever did was put tears on my face. you took what you wanted from me whenever you wanted and never even checked if I was ok. I wasn't . I think about the day I met you for the first time. i wonder how my life would've turned out if I never met you. the first time I laid my eyes on youu.. I was in 8th grade and the halls were packed. it was time for sixth period. the halls were crowded and everyone was pushing and shoving. but somehow in that mess, my eyes landed on you. and swear to god I stopped breathing, you were laughing with your friends you didn't notice me watching you. I had to go upstairs for class and so did you... I was behind you in the overly packed stairs you still didn't notice me. lunch came and I decided that I was going to talk to you. only you didn't have the same lunch I did. but your friend did and I took it as a sign.i told him how cute you were, he laughed and smiled at me. the next day at school, you came up to my friends and I. you didn't believe when they told you what I said. you had to hear it for yourself. I assured you that what you heard was true and I think I saw a sparkle in your eyes. after school I saw you. I smiled as I approached you and your friend. i politely kissed your friend on the cheek, when it was your turn you had a better idea in mind, you didn't want a kiss on the cheek. you kissed me. our first kiss. the kiss that fucked me up at the end. this isn't a sweet innocent story about middle school love. this is the story of how I fucked up. it grew into something more, that neither of us was ready for. we were young, you gave me all the signs. I don't know how I didn't see it back then. you were a bad person. a bad habit, a fucking addiction. I think you noticed that I was way more into you than you were into me. you changed and I was scared. I was scared of being myself around you. I didn't speak. I would just nod and smile at all the nonsense that came out of your disgusting mouth. everything that you ever said about me was nasty and mean but I stayed because I was so in love with you. in my eyes you couldn't do no wrong. it went on for a year until that day at the park. you tore my heart apart. when I got home I couldn't stop sobbing I burned everything I had of yours in my room. I swore I would never see you again. a year past and I was in such a better place, you see you taught me things. I learned to stand up for myself and not to let no guy disrespect me. I learned my value. but I still had weak spot for you see I was moving to another country. we would never see each other ever again. that scared me, I wanted to say goodbye, you had a girlfriend. I didn't care I told myself that I just wanted to say goodbye before I left the next day.again you had better plans. you didn't come alone, I didn't know that. I sneaked you in for old times sake. my family was out. we had the house to ourselves. you smiled at me only this time it looked evil. I was beginning to wonder why I called you. I shouldn't have done this. you were freaking me out. you said you wanted some water, so we went to the kitchen like you asked. only you didn't let me leave the kitchen, I brushed it off. my phone started to ring, it was in my room. I went to grab it. once again you had better ideas. you grabbed my wrist and told me to stay. your grip was hard and firm, you were starting to hurt me. I hadn't seen you since freshman year, we were sophomores now. you had changed a lot. for the worse. you finally let go of me, and ran to the hallway of my room only to see one of your friends leave my parents room. he had smug grin and his pockets full. another boy came from my room. I was trapped and you and your friends were closing me in against the wall. tears were uncontrollably streaming down my face. why? was all I remember thinking about. you and your friends helped yourself. you left me on the floor crying. I was leaving tomorrow morning and this was going to be my last memory of you.
