That Summer

PROLOGUE.

I always aced the English assignments my teacher gave me,I practically got an  A+ almost all the time, except for papers where I had to be the main character.
Don't get me wrong,I wrote about main characters of books I read all the time but when it came to writing about myself,I couldn't get past the basics like;
Name: Gracie Reynolds
Age:18
Hobbies: writing,
Extra curricular activity: cheer leading

And that's it after that, everything I seem to know about myself vanishes.
I would try to portray myself as a deep feeling person but it would all sound cringy because I wasn't,most people say that I'm an open book usually and it makes me wonder,if I'm such an open book,why is it difficult for me to read myself.
Sometimes for inspiration I would ask people what they thought about me,if they were nice I would get answers like

Gracie is a hard-working girl.

Gracie is very good at cheerleading.

Gracie is such a darling.

Gracie is very smart and unique.

And if they were brutally honest I would get answers like;

Gracie is such a pushover.

Gracie is too nice for her own good.

Gracie fakes her innocence.

Gracie is extremely annoying.

All these answers still left me with the same question

Who is Gracie Reynolds?

Was I the hardworking ,smart and unique girl or the girl  whose lines between being nice and being naive and stupid blurred greatly.

And in the end I still don't know who I am.

And because I still needed to write a paper by the end of the day I would think about what my family says about me.

Mom told her friends and family members that I was  her 'moon' a name I still don't understand.

Dad would say that I am wise beyond my age, which I think is a stretch.

My sister Melanie never says much about me apart from 'she's my sister'

My brother Harry though,he completely adores me which makes him say exaggerated things like  I'm the best sister ever,simply because I bake him cookies and treats every month.
He loves me but I don't think I'm his favorite .

My sister stassie though says I'm the most down to earth person and bubbliest person she knows,this  I kind of believe, because she's my best friend within the family.

And lastly my twin Abigail, usually she  just ends at 'she's my twin,' I can't blame her though,that's the only thing we probably have in common.

And even though their perceptions of me aren't the worst,they still don't answer the question
Who I am and that's where the challenge comes in how do I say that I'm smart and stupid and naive in one paper and somehow not contradict myself.
How do I convince everyone that I'm wise beyond my years,and still a pushover at the same time?
I Don't know and I don't think I ever will but somehow I have to write over 500 words about myself.
I wish knowing exactly who I am didn't matter so much but it matters so much to the world,
I mean if I want a scholarship,I have to write about myself,if I want a job I have to tell the interviewer about myself,if I want to have a serious relationship I have to tell my potential significant other about myself and if I don't know myself then,I have to fake it till I know.

594 words and I still don't know who I am or what I'm talking about, but one question still lingers

Who is Gracie Reynolds?

My finger hovers over the delete button on my laptop but my eyes are glued to the screen reading every word and finding any reason to validate my reason for wanting to delete it.
But I already have an excuse,it's a horrible essay because it's true but nevertheless I don't find the courage to delete it.
I move it to my drafts and close my laptop as I refocus on the road ahead.

"How's your essay going,"my sister asks .

I sigh,"It's horrible,I'm gonna start over,".

"It can't be that bad....,"

"Yes it is stassie,it's not Westview University standard,I can do better I know it,"I say more to myself than her.

"It's okay, Gracie ,it will be alright,"stassie says smiling at me before refocusing on the road.

"Thanks stassie,I don't know what I'd do without you,"

"Anytime Gracie,,"she replies and we fall back into comfortable silence as my grandparents enormous ranch comes comes into view.