ONCE upon a time, deep within the great forests of Germany, dwelt a widowed mother and her two children. The boy was called Hans and the girl, Greta. They were twins, blessed from birth with tremendous beauty and born of the same tall, trim build with fair skin and hair of gold, like their mother.
In fact, they were both so hot that throughout high school they had to put up with a lot of jokes and rumors about incest from their classmates about incest. Oh, it was true that the brother and sister had stolen a few glances at one another over the years, as Hans put on muscles and Greta's body developed. But despite Europe's open-minded laissez-faire attitudes about sexuality, they still managed to respect the incest taboo.
The twins shared a single dream: to escape their idyllic (but dull) lives in the Bavarian countryside and one day move to America, where they would become high fashion runway models. They believed their chances were good, for in addition to having well-sculpted young bodies they also had angular, symmetrical faces. After coming home from school they'd practice posing in the mirror for hours to perfect their most bland and affectless expressions possible.
Their mother, Monika, enthusiastically supported her children's dreams and shortly after their 18th birthday, revealed she had a surprise for them:
"My children, I have a friend who lives in America. She's an art dealer in Los Angeles, who owns a house in the Hollywood Hills. She's very wealthy and wise. If you go there, she will let you stay in her home and help you get your careers started!"
The sexy teens were overjoyed by this news, and began daydreaming constantly about how they'd soon have glamorous new lives as European fashion models living in LA.
Later that week, Hans was packing his travel bag when he overheard his mother on the phone downstairs:
"Yes, Wendy, the kids are going to be so happy to meet you!...What?...No, Hans has been keeping himself in very good shape. There's not an ounce of fat on him!"
Beaming with pride, Hans unconsciously stood up a little straighter. He was sure that his lean build would be quite the asset for him in the modeling world.
"And Greta? Yes, she's kept herself in very good shape as well. I know you two will get on famously. She's going to have quite the career ahead of her. I know you have so much to teach her."
Hans smiled, and returned to packing his luggage for the journey. He was so excited to meet this Wendy woman!
The two siblings were seen off by their mother the next morning at the train station. She gave them each a peck on the cheek. They were nervous, but happy.
"I hope we can make it to your friend's house safely after our plane lands, mother" said Greta. "I've heard there's a lot of crime in America."
"Don't worry, sis" said Hans. "I promise I'll protect you."
———
After a gruelingly long flight, Hans and Greta arrived in LA. They took an airport taxi to the Hollywood Hills, setting out to find the home of Wendy, their mother's friend.
Worried about running out of money, they had foolishly allowed the driver to drop them off some ways from Wendy's address. With only one travel bag each, they told themselves it would be good exercise to walk the rest of the way after being cooped up in the plane for so long.
But they sorely underestimated the city's hostility to pedestrians, especially in this uphill, upscale neighborhood. Very soon the twins were huffing and puffing along the steep roads and their clothes were soaked with sweat.
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Hans and Greta: An Adult Fairytale of Horror
FantasyA modern twist on that old fairy tale classic about witches and gluttony, Hansel & Gretel! (Warning: Contains graphic sex & violence)