RWBY Reactions: Hellsing Ultimate Abridged

Birthday Kidnapping

Ruby was happy.

Today was October 31st, Halloween, and also her birthday. Beacon Academy was decorated for the Spooky Holiday, pumpkins were carved with candles illuminating their faces, Fake gravestones, cobwebs, scarecrows, along with vampires, werewolves, and spooky skeletons were practically covering Beacon's massive courtyard. All the students were getting into the holiday, and the Staff were also getting into the spirit. Professor Port was dressed like a Zombie Professor, Doctor Oobleck was dressed like a Vampire, Ms. Goodwitch was dressed... well, like a witch, hat and all. Professor Ozpin was dressed like a Wizard, and carried a staff instead of his Cane. Despite all of this, Ruby felt a bit scared about her birthday.

She could be, and currently is, a very anxious teenager.

You see, last year, she had gotten too excited and a bit too bratty that day, and she ended up getting stuffed into a trash can by her sister, Yang, and getting all her candy stolen by the rest of her team. Ruby would admit that she had it coming, she would admit it was an effective punishment...

But it hurt. Bad.

She had avoided her team for the rest of the week, and had received a massive apology in return. Since then, they were back to being the close-knit prodigal team. This year, Yang, Weiss, and Blake had decided to go above and beyond as a further apology since the incident last year.

They had invited their Sister-Team, Team JNPR, composed of Jaune Arc, Pyrrha Nikos, Nora Valkyrie, and Lie Ren. Their Seniors, Team CFVY, composed of Coco Adel, Velvet Scarlatina, Yatsuhashi Daichi and Fox Alistair. This year, Ruby's Druncle Qrow, The Number One Huntsman in the World, (in her opinion) and her father, Taiyang Xiao-Long, The Retired Huntsman of Patch, would be in attendance, and she nearly fainted from joy. Then Yang placed a bet with Ruby, that if she couldn't sneak up on Blake and all the Teachers at the same time, she would have to invite Headmasters Ozpin and Ironwood, along with Ms. Goodwitch and Specialist Schnee. She had failed, and sent the invites.

She didn't expect they'd actually show up!

So here she was, celebrating her birthday with her Friends, Family, and Headmaster. Yang gifted her a rather expensive weapon upgrade that the young Reaper was eyeing, along with driving lessons for a Motorcycle, along with CQC lessons. Weiss had gifted her a box of cookies baked by one of the top chefs in the World, along with a beautiful Silver and Red necklace of a Rose, with a Schneelex Watch in Red and Black. Blake had given her a book on Ancient Weapons, a box of Limited-Edition Weapon Magazines, both reading material and actual Weapon Magazines, and a very beautiful coat, made by the inhabitants of Menagerie for the Chieftain's Family. It was a very comfy coat.

Jaune had given her a Weapon Engraving book, a small, retractable shield, and a Bracelet featuring the Emblems of both their teams. Pyrrha had given her a box of Strawberries from Mistral, a beautiful and elegant dagger, and a Ammo-Pressing Kit. Nora had given her Pancakes, which the Valkyrie usually hoarded, a very big Corgi Plush, and a shirt that said 'Thunder Pals!' Ren had giver Ruby books on Aura Mastery, Martial Arts, and Meditation.

Coco had given her a Beret, Sunglasses, and a nice Ammo Bag, which the Young Reaper greedily took. Velvet had given her Hard-Light Dust, a book on Dust Usage and Combinations, and a Picture of the Two baking. Fox had given the Birthday Girl a new pair of Headphones, a list of Songs to Jam to, and a long list of Songs and Audios to help ease Anxiety. Yatsuhashi had given her a Exercise Kit, the perfect Diet Plan, and a book on Famous Runners and their Techniques.

Dad had given her some money, a book on Chess, and a picture of Team STRQ. The Last Gift from her Father had her nearly cry. She didn't have many pictures of her Mom, but she treasured the ones she did have. Uncle Qrow had given her Gag Gifts, a 'My-First-Huntress' Kit, a book of Hunter Tales, and a book simply titled 'Go The Fuck To Sleep'. He also had gotten her a serious gift, being a pair of Tonfas with Gravity Dust built in the ends of the Weapons, allowing more 'Oomph' in the strikes. Winter, Weiss's Sister, handed her a book of Etiquette, a beautiful Hairpin of Snowflakes surrounding a single Rose, and a Video on how to deal with Uncomfortable Social Situations. Ms. Goodwitch had given her one free pass on combat class, one game-time pass for the entire class to have fun, and a Witch Hat. General Ironwood had given her a Break-Action Revolver, a Heavy, Bulletproof, Elementalproof Jacket, and a book of Combat Tactics to add to her arsenal, along with an open-invitation to Atlas Academy should it be necessary. Ozpin had given Ruby a book on Fairy Tales, a long red, black, and silver scarf, and a beautiful Fountain Pen.

Then it was time for Cake.

They wheeled out a, to be frank, massive Strawberry Cake, with 10 Levels of Cake! It had 16 Lit Candles around a Red, White, and Blue Star, and looked to have been baked around a tube big enough to hide a person. As the Party-Goers sang 'Happy Birthday', Ruby thought of a wish she wanted granted. She could wish for anything she wanted, but as she looked around the room at the Birthday Guests, she knew what she wanted.

Ruby: 'I wish everyone here would have a fun, enjoyable time with me!'

Ruby blew out the Candles...

*BANG!*

Only to backpedal as a man bursted through the Star, screaming 'Happy Birthday', while flipping through the air, and landing in front of the Cake.

This had everyone in the room on edge, all starring at the man who suddenly appeared. He wore a White-Button Up shirt tucked into a pair of Black Pants, which were tucked into a pair of Gunmetal Grey Combat Boots. He wore a Crimson Vest with Gold Trimming, with a matching Fob-Watch looped around the Second and Third Buttons. He had a White unbuttoned Coat ending at his waist, with black accents here and there. He wore a White Fedora, with a black band, and on his face was a pair of Gold-Trimmed Sunglasses with completely black lenses. He had a face-mask that had black-lining forming white squares, and white straps wrapped behind his Black and Purple hair, which was tied in a Warriors tale.

He wore a bag, with the strap placed on his left shoulder, and the circle, clock-faced bag placed on his right hip. Then...

There was the Necktie...

It was the most ugly, disturbing, down right unnaturally depressive Necktie in existence. It was such a horrifically designed tie, that everyone who saw it felt sick. The Design was so bad, it could only be described as a Tailor's most Horrific, Depressive, LSD-fueled Nightmare given physical form.

Ozpin stepped in front of the Group.

Ozpin: Identify yourself, Intruder.

???: Oh don't worry, Ozzy. I'm not here to start shit.

The Man spoke in a strange accent, with Ruby briefly imagining a Clip Westwood Movie.

???: I am simply known as The Wyrdweaver.

The now-named Wyrdweaver gave a bow before standing straight, looking at Ruby.

Wyrdweaver: Miss. Rose, I wish you a happy birthday, and offer you... a choice.

Ruby, with her Team and Friends, tensed, ready to attack if needed.

Wyrdweaver: You wished for a fun, happy, and enjoyable time for everyone attending your birthday party, correct?

Everyone glanced at Ruby, who nodded meekly.

Wyrdweaver: Good. Do you wish for it to come true?

Yang was about to tell this creep off, but Ruby cut her off.

Ruby: Yes... I... I want the wish to become true. But...

Wyrdweaver: Good! Then I won't feel guilty about this. FLASHBANG!

The Wyrdweaver threw a small object, where it exploded, blinding and deafening everyone. When the light died down, no one was in the room.

Oh, they'd have a fun time alright...

They couldn't decline the offer, anyway. Otherwise, there'd be no story!

See you next time on RWBY Reacts: Hellsing Ultimate Abridged, where they watch episode one of TheCrimsonFuckr, himself!