DrGray003's Daily Dose Of Poems

17. Swayed By Confusion

A day without self-doubt
Is a day of miracles in my days
My life is deprived of those
So I doubt everyday to no end
Do miracles occur in prayer?
If so then mine is ignored
So I continue to doubt

Is it confidence I lack?
I doubt that
Is it courage I'm without?
I doubt that
Is it the motivation I need?
I doubt that
Is it pride I'm deprived?
Perhaps it's doubt I'm full of

Is the price to independence
To question every choice I make
That I do not doubt
For I have asked questions
Questions with no answers
There is only
my lack of understanding to blame
That I do not doubt

There is much I don't fathom
No one to explain nor clarify
And so in the confusion I drown
I sink deeper into the depths
In the depths of my thoughts I stay
For I cannot swim for my salvation
Nor will any bother in my stead

If self-doubt was a machine
Surely it would have buttons
I have very little doubt
That I would let it run
And ruin me from within
If only that were true
I would turn off this instance
So I would doubt no more