I was happy and healthy when I was born. I was loved, fed, and kept warm at night, and was happy all the time. I didn't have a care in the world!
A few years later I was able to speak, and understand little of the world, but knew enough not to be too so confused. A few more years later, I discovered that life wasn't all fun and games... I would say to people-"It's okay! and "It's fine, it doesn't matter!" all the time, even when I tried not to-I would end up saying it.
I was 9 or 10 when my father died on me. my mother didn't care, but I did. Every single night-for about a year-I cried myself to sleep, and stopped eating... than ended up on a life support machine for about a month, while fighting for life.
I pretend to be happy, wanting to be-but not able to be-, so nobody will constantly ask me if I'm okay all the time. If you ever see me crying, you need to ask me if I'm okay-and if I am to say yes-it means that I'm breaking on the inside-and I don't know who to talk to about it, if I say no-that's means I don't want it to be shared to everyone if I do tell you.
