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aalayjahjanaimeshell
15 years old
harlem, new york
[ the break-ups ]
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AALAYJAH CHEWED ON HER lunch as she sat quietly in her thoughts . she couldn't hide her emotions from clouding her by the minute . they were practically flooding her brain right now . she wanted to believe amir wouldn't cheat on her . she wanted to believe he still loves her . she wanted to believe she wasn't about to experience her first heartbreak , but deep down , her gut was preparing her .
but she's human, no amount of planning and preparing can stop your heart from aching or your thoughts from forming . you try and you try but the more you try , the more you give in. letting your conscience get to you . and as of now aalayjah was definitely losing this battle .
she was trying to brush it off and just let it go so she wouldn't let it consume her . before he died, her father always told her to never let what she can't control eat at her and if someone wanted to walk out of her life, then let them .
that advice was easy to hear but much harder to take for aalayjah . she was an easily attached person, so once you showed her any ounce of care or love, she was quick to cling to you . it was a habit she prayed hard to fight away to protect her heart, but it was slowly destroying her .
she sniffles as she felt a tear she didn't even know she had drop as her vision became blurred . that happens sometimes, when she tends to get in her head and let that brain of hers get all worked up , she breaks down . it usually causes her panic attacks to form . she didn't have them heavily but they came, and when they did, they were no joke .
she immediately got up from the empty auditorium stage and threw her trash away and gathered her books and purse . she chose to eat in the auditorium because she was aware that due to lunch it was always empty and with her mind eating at her she needed to be alone . her mother, friends, and therapist all try to tell her it's not healthy but she always tries to heal herself without having to trouble anyone with her pain .
