His Dove's Flight

The Multiversal Criminal

My ears ache from the sudden transition of dead silence to a rowdy bar. I cover my aching ears, giving them some more time to adjust. I look around at all the various alien-like creatures, clinking their drinks together, singing, laughing. They all act so human, no matter how abstract they may first seem. The drinks I could actually see are in colors and filling the room with smells that scream "poison" to my human brain.

I push through the crowd. They clump back together as soon as I am past, as though I never interrupted anything. I make it to the main bar, a table so long I can't see it end. I sit on a stool next to an old man. My stomach grumbles. When was the last time I ate?

"Woah, sweetcheeks! Tame that thing before it bites!" A familiar gruff voice speaks up. I look over to my right to find a familiar face right next to me, a teasing twinkle in his eye. I light up at the sight of Stanley, and hug him tightly. After a second, Stanley lets out a confused "ahem."

I let go of him. "Sorry- sorry. I thought you were someone else. A different Stanley." I peel my eyes off the old man and stare at my clasped hands on the table.

"Hey! Not the first time," Stanley says, "Don't feel too bad. Now..." He squints at me for a moment before punching the table, "Waiter! Get this young person a flacherk!" The bartender rolls their eyes and heads to the back. I lean forward and watch the alien pull some odd, meaty object from a fridge and pop it in what I can only assume is a fryer. After a few minutes, the flacherk is pulled out of the cooking device and slapped down on a plate. The plate slides over to me. I grab what I think is a fork and start trying to eat it. I shudder, feeling my gag reflexes kick in. Stanley laughs.

"Oh, you bitch." I swallow it down.

"What? Nothing suppresses appetite better than inedible food!" Stanley says, "Now, kid, it's time to bounce." Stanley grabs me and starts running.

"WOAH, HEY!" I shout in confusion. Lights flash for us. Stanley manages to keep both of us out of the lights' way as we leave the bar into the grander city. Everything is upside down, but my mind has no time to process it. As soon as we're in an alleyway, I get to look around. I smile at the sight of topsy-turvey everything is. Bill would love it here. Unfortunately, there are bigger things to worry about.

"What's going on?" I ask.

"I'm in big trouble," Stanley whispers in a rush, "I angered the big guy, now there's a warrant after me."

"The big guy?"

"Yes. The origin of existence itself, the harbinger of fate. A being that determines the path of everything, living and not. It could give you Heaven, or it could reduce you to dust. It calls itself the Axolotl."

I blink at the older man, "So. Why doesn't it do so to you right now?"

"That's not for us to understand." Stanley peeks over the corners, his vigilance higher than a stoner's mental state. I try to take a glimpse of what he's looking at. The streets are riddled with little land-dwelling axolotls in little police hats. It is impossibly cute! How could such things be intimidating? I could only guess.

I turn back towards Stanley, "So if this Axolotl has ultimate power, can it turn humans into demons?" When Stanley doesn't say a word, I flash my ring to the old man. His eyes widen and he mutters an "oh."

"Well, look at you!" Stanley grins, "I would say you're going places with the ability to charm demons, but I can tell you've already gone places!" He pauses for a moment, looking at the ground. He looks back up with a tight smile, "You know what? Screw it! What's another millennia facing the Axolotl's wrath if it means the lucky demon doesn't outlive you and go insane?" Stan laughs uncomfortably, "At least there would be a millennia of torment!"