Can you trust me?

James Part 1

Books, what do they mean? I thought that for many years. A good story can't be read it has to be absorbed. My whole life i've tried to escape, escape from the terror and guilt of my dirty and tricky past, escape from the love that i've tried to keep but i always seem to lose. I've only loved two things, books and Someone i thought would be my one true love, My freedom, but it turned out to be a mistake and a threat to my well being and my sanity. Books have always been there when My parents and friends weren't. I've been torn down to nothing my whole life waiting for someone to build me back up again. Books filled that whole in my life until she walked in. Her olive skin with brown hair waving perfectly through the wind as she walked into the bookstore. I've worked at Literacy since i was a teen, the old owner taught me that books might not be a person but it may fill a hole of emptiness and sadness dented into you. I've found that those sacred words may be right But when She walked in my hole was fully restored like there was no dent to be seen. She was wearing a jacket and glasses but wore a dress. She wanted to be left alone but also seen. she didn't like a lot of attention but enough to feel needed. I thought that this would be my chance, she gave a sense of mystery and hope that one needed. She walks over to me as i'm casually organizing books by genre trying not to look like a creep. " Hey, i was wondering if you Had the book The Sun Also Rises?" Ernest Hemingway, Out of Millions of writers you chose the one that has my heart. I turn to her " Oh yeah We do" I lead her to the book as i hand it to her she looks up and we lock as just for a moment but that moment, that one singular moment changed my entire life as i know it. "Thanks!" she says holding out her hand " I'm Fiona" Fiona, That was the most gracious name i've heard. What was a girl like Fiona doing in My bookstore? Was it fate? Have i really met the one? " Nice to meet you Fiona! Will that be all for you?" I had to say something to act like i wasn't desperate and plus i'm still working, what else do you expect of me? We walked over to the register, her perfume smelt of Roses and Lilys like she just walked out of a meadow of some sorts. She looks up at my pin " And you are? Hmm James?"

"Ah yes! James Minson" she wanted to know my name or else she would've just paid and left. what does she want? she keeps looking at me like she needs something. " Have a nice day James, maybe I'll come back soon for another novel!" She said it smiling, at that moment i knew i had to get her into my heart and i had to get myself in her head. She lead me down a very dark path that day and i wouldn't know how to save myself if i tried. later that night i closed up and walked home realizing i just met the perfect girl and imaging what our kids would look like. I couldn't screw up, not this time, this time HAD to be different. I walk up to my building, hearing screaming from the neighbors, their son on the stairways reading Jane Eyre. Specific taste for a 9 year old. Me and him where close, i would always bring him home food and books because his mother was a single mother who picks abusive guys. " Hey Leo, everything okay in there? Need to stay at my place tonight?" He would sometimes stay at my place when things where to unsafe for him to be there. "No thank you James i think i'll just read for a bit, got anything new for me today?" I looked at him like he was crazy but i knew he would get through the book in max of two days. " sorry my man i got nothing for right now, next week?" He looked disappointed like he was looking forward to that all day. " Hey but you can take my sandwich i got some leftovers in the fridge?" he looked at me like i was crazy " Are you sure James?" A loud grumble from his stomach growled, i could tell he wanted me to say yes " Yes i'm 100% positive, eat up! goodnight!" he looked thankful, like i just saved his life " goodnight james you're the best!"