One Constant Holiday

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Fifteen 

   A sort knock sounded at my bedroom door, but I just ignored it, like I did with everything else. Just walking out of the room seemed like a chore nowadays. As I saw it, I didn't have to move until tomorrow when I went to see Sammi's parents and arrange the funeral with them. The knock sounded again a little more persistent. "Kyle, I'm coming in." A voice I recognised all too well came in.

   Kelsey wandered in, "Kyle," she muttered as she sat on the edge of the bed, her eyes not showing pity, just sadness. 

      "I don't want to see anyone," I told her. "So please leave me alone."

      Unlike everybody else, who just did as I asked and walked out, she stayed, which made me angrier than I already was. "I'm not leaving. You need to get your soppy ass out of bed and move along with your life! I am sure it's not what she would have liked." She yelled at me and tugged the covers clean off the bed and turned the television off. "Come on!" 

   I saw red, "what the fuck do you know about losing someone?" I screamed. 

      Her eyes darkened slightly and her face turned cold. "Yeah, I may not have lost someone through death, but I lost you!" She shouted. "I lost you! And I am not going to let you squander your life away by sitting in your room!" 

   I lost you. The words kept repeating through my mind. I lost you. I didn't even think about that, but then, I lost her as well, I know it was my own fault, but yeah, I lost her as well. "What are you even doing here?" I asked, my voice considerably calmer.

   "I got a text off my brother telling me to kick your ass out of bed, it's been three days since you've been back and I bet you haven't even washed or eaten. I mean, it's evident from your face that you haven't shaved!" She informed me and my hand unconsciously went to my face and the evidence was there, I had a full-on beard, something I never had before as Kelsey and Sammi both hated them, as it tickled them when we kissed.

   I stood up, towering above Kelsey, "I think you should go now." I spoke coldly. I didn't even understand why she was here, she should hate my guts, not be round here trying to get me out of bed after my fiance was killed, it wasn't fair on her. Even after two years, I still could read her like a book and she doesn't want to be here, I know it hurts her. She stood by the door, not sure on what she should do, "trust me, you can go." I urged.

   "Just promise me you won't do anything stupid," she asked and I nodded my head and crossed my fingers over my heart, something we used to always do. She smiled meekly and left me stood there. 

********

   I got out of the car and looked up at her parents house. The guilt was weighing me down, swallowing me even, and now I have to go into her parents house and deal with everything and then go to the house we rented and get the rest of our stuff, her parents had already took most of Sammi's so it was mainly mine now. It just feels surreal that she has actually gone. I knocked on the door and Ben answered it. "Hi mate," he greeted sadly and I smiled before stepping in and sitting down on her couch where her mother was sat, her dad sat on his chair and Ben sat down on the other chair. 

   "So the funeral," her dad started. "Her mother and I have made a list of songs that we think are appropriate, but we couldn't decide, so will you look at the list?" Her dad asked and although I already felt awful, I had to shake my head.

   "Erm...I'm sorry, but Sammi and I used to always talk about this and other random things late at night, and erm...I already know the three songs she wants." I spoke. "She always said the same three songs: Time of your Life, the Dirty Dancing version, Someone Like You - Adele and Angels by Robbie Williams."

   "Time of your Life? It's not very funeral like is it?" Her dad replied. 

      "Sammi wasn't a normal girl. It was and always had been her favourite song and film. Trust me, if you don't put that song in, she'll haunt your ass," I laughed lightly and even Ben smirked a little. His mum however, just started to cry and seeing as I was sat next to her, she suddenly clung onto me. 

   "I agree with Kyle dad, he did know her better than what we did." 

      "Because of him, we didn't get to spend the last few moments with our daughter." He growled and I was shocked at what he said. "So he doesn't get any say in my daughter's funeral!" 

      "I'm not trying to be disrespectful, but Sammi decided to go into this line of work before I even met her. I loved Sammi with all my heart, and if you can't or couldn't see that then that's your problem. But if you didn't want my input, why ask me to come from Leeds?" 

   Her dad stood up and looked down on me, "I never liked you boy, I'm only doing this because it's what my daughter would have liked, your opinion however, means sod all to me, so you've given your input, now I would like you to leave. If you want to come to the funeral and I don't recommend it, I'll get our Ben to ring you, you know, before you get him killed as well." He spat.

   That was it, I stood up and squared up to him, "I swear to God old man, you say anything like that again and whether you're her dad or not, I'll put your face through that wall," I growled. "I came here to try and arrange the perfect funeral for my fiance, not to get grief from her fucking dad!"

   Ben stood in-between us and he gave his dad a cold look, "If Sammi didn't want him here, she wouldn't have agreed to marry him, now Kyle knows her more than any of us and I want her to have a proper send off, not some shitty thing that you arrange because you can't be bothered. Sammi was full of life, so I am sure as hell that she wouldn't want to have an all-black depressed-fest." He spoke. "So stop being an asshole and sit down dad."

   I sat down as well, but his dad just continued to glare at me. I turned to her mother, "I'm sorry." I muttered and she nodded her head.

      "Don't worry, I know it's not your fault." She replied and I smiled.

      "I suggest we now carry on arranging it, and go along with his Kyle's choices as they were better than ours anyway," Ben commented and I nodded my head. His dad stood there for a few more seconds before finally sitting down and facing the television, ignoring everyone else in the room.

   After about an hour, the three of us arranged the whole thing, it would be me, her dad, Ben, Leon, Calvin and her cousin Paul carrying the coffin, she'll be cremated, Time of your Life will be played in the middle accompanied by photos of her with her family and friends, Angels will be last and Someone Like You first and then we'll arrange a party later on at the pub, and everyone had to wear at least one colour of the rainbow, like for example, I could wear a black suit, but it had to have a blue tie or something like that, just to brighten the place up for her.

   I got up off the sofa and gave her mum a hug and shook hands with Ben. "I'll see you on the twenty-fourth then," I told them before I made my own way out and got in my car. 

      As I sat in my car, I couldn't stop the tears that fell from my eyes, it was like someone just turned the tap. How the hell am I going to live on without her when all I do is cry and mourn her whenever I'm alone?

Hey! (:

I know it's another sad chapter, but after the funeral, I think the chapters are going to be a little lighter :)

Please  VOTE, COMMENT and FAN! 

Thanks for reading :D

Jemma .x.