twenty six - coming to terms

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The ride back to your London home was silent.

You had long past the time for self pity. You left that broken girl back at the manor, along with your countless tears. And as heart wrenching as it was, you were ready to be gone.

With how silent the ride was, your mind couldn't help but go back to how hard they tried to to convince you to stay after having that bomb dropped on you.

~

"Tell me, what would you have done if you were back home in London this whole time? Still processing the war, still depressed? Still feeling guilty?" Mary had asked condescendingly as you shoved your things in a suitcase.

"Maybe so but it would've been my choice at least. I would have had my parents to rely on, and the knowledge that Voldemort was fucking dead."

"I swear, you really can't see it can you, girl. You had not one ounce of happiness here? Nothing? Could your parents have provided you such happiness, the kind you had with Lucius? Tell me, how different would things have been again?" she continued pestering you.

It did force you to pause temporarily and look up at her as you contemplated what she was saying. You didn't want to try and find a reason to stay, or to make excuses for him though. This was over, for good.

"Listen, please. I know that demonizing him is the only answer right now, and the only way to restrain some of that hurt. But everything he did, there was a reason for. That man is many things, but his love for you was something else entirely," she'd tried to reason with you. "Please try and see beyond just the surface."

~

Of course at that point there was nothing else to be said. The decision to leave was one you knew was right. You were so hurt and in pain, turning your emotions off and being numb to it all was the only way you could make it through this.

The cab driver was thankfully quiet and didn't press you at all on your silence the whole way there.

It was refreshing to be out in the real world again. To see the leaves starting to change color and the laughs of muggles on the street. You'd been in the manor the entire summer and by now, it was the start of autumn.

You thought about going and finding Jameson right off the bat, anxious to see him again and give him another chance. But you had put the idea to rest for now. You truly hoped he was doing the right thing and would be at home and making his amends to your parents.

But that would be the scenario in a perfect world.

As the cab driver rounded the corner to your home, you tried to keep your emotions in check. Just seeing your beloved, brick house was enough to send you into a sob fest.

You loved this home, and the people in it. So much.

"Alright, miss we've arrived," the cab driver said in a thick accent.

"Thank you, what's the total fare?" you asked while trying to find your wallet.

"No no, it's been paid for. Before we even left actually, with a hefty tip to boot. You just be on your way, love."

Paid for? Fucking Lucius...

"I see. Thank you again sir," you replied politely as you exited the car.

Grabbing your few bags from the trunk, the cab driver pulled away and you were left at the doorstep of your childhood home.

You were almost too nervous to knock.

As you brought your fist toward the door, it all of the sudden swung open. And the face of your mother was staring right back at you.

"Oh my god, oh my god. It's you," she cried as she wrapped you in a tight hug.

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