It's so hard to be in love especially if you are falling for the wrong one. Quite true with me uhm well okay soooo true to me.
I have this one particular person who has been, I should say a part of me. How else would I describe him? I guess he's just one ordinary boy next-door whom you can see often in the neighborhood. Not that handsome. Not even popular. But he's the one who makes my heart sing and jump whenever I see him. No doubt that his presence is more than happiness I could ever imagine.
We started as friends. Along the way of our friendship, I found out that we have certain things in common. He is appreciative in a lot of things. He likes to talk about events in the past and the current events as well. We argue a lot in almost all topics like personal stuff, moral issues, traditions, beliefs, religion, etc. In other words, we have differents points about things. The good thing is that he knows how to console me by simply tug-and-hug we will be able to resolve our "issues". {We too shared secrets.} It is so wonderful to know his innermost hung-ups cos I can feel that it's our mutual way of saying how close we are to each other. I know all sorts of things about him {let me mention few things for the record} like his past, his passion and his love.
I confess he is the guy I would never exchange to anyone else.
At first, I really thought we would not go beyond this. But I was wrong...so wrong. YES, he didn't go beyond...but I DID. I dig the hole where I would bury myself and it seems that there's no way out. YES, I AM IN LOVE WITH HIM. Yet, I cannot tell him about this... I must not say it. I am too darn to confess because I might ruin the friendship we have. I can't stand a moment where he's about to turn his back on me. I know I have all chance too tell him every thing...about how I feel but I am always turning down every single CHANCE. i tried to ignore the FEELING. To stand the pain of keeping it. I put aside how I feel.I know he loves me but I guess it isn't the same way I LOVE HIM.-- the manner I WANT AND FEEL IT TO BE.
STAND THE PAIN. Yes, indeed! Because I decided to be A FRIEND {the bestfriend} I have to share with what he feels, with all his HAPPINESS. How could you imagine how I feel whenever I see and feel the compassion he exhibits everytime he speaks about HER? The GIRL he LIKES and to whom he imagine himself years and years from now. Every moment he says how much he's willing to spend the rest of his life with her with their children in their very home.
IT'S SICKENING. How can he be so insensitive! Ridiculous. Can he not feel how I long for him? Insane. Why does he talk about SOMEONE ELSE? I can be his girl, anyways.
All I can do is to hide the pain. Pretend. The least I can do is to assure him that I will be with him whenever he NEEDS A FRIEND. I cry inside and smile outside.
Yes, you may say that I am coward to tell him how I feel...but you can't blame me. I rather have him this way than to loose him in the end. That' I don't know if I can handle for life. All I know is that despite the aches even if it's for the rest of my life.-- I'LL BE HIS FRIEND.
I won't say that I'd not DREAM HE WOULD SOON CONSIDER ME MORE THAN A FRIEND
These smiles and tears will forever remain for him and for him alone.
Maybe, I'd consider that this person who fell in love with the "wrong person" would soon find the "right one"
