My Story (With Depression)

Whats the point?

I didn't care about anything at this point. I had no emotions. Of course I didn't want to worry my friends so I would hide my scars and put on a mask. Eventually they all found out one by one. Some of them hit me when they found new cuts but I didn't care. I found out that my old best friend had depression as well. We became friends again and that made me so happy, but I would constantly be finding new cuts and burns on her skin. I was disappointed in her, that's when I knew what my friends felt when they found scars on me. I decided to change for the better. I flushed my blades I told my mom about everything and went to see a counsellor. I was doing better but my friend...not so much. I tried my best to help her as much as I could. I did everything I could to try and make her stop but she refused. Around this time I got my first girlfriend, yes I am bisexual and before I got a girlfriend I was only in one relationship and that was with a guy, she was just like me. She liked bands and black, she had depression and anxiety too. I loved her I really did. We were together for 9 months when I broke up with her. I did it because I felt like I didn't deserve her, I felt that she deserved better than me so I set her free. We didn't talk for months. And then one day she just texted me and it progressed from there. We were friends again. It was the three of us, me, my ex/friend, and my best friend. I of course was still friends with my little group and the nerds. We slowly grew closer and then we got back together but after about a week we broke up because me and my best friend discovered that she was basically using me and when we were together she was obsessed with me. So we didn't talk for months on end. It was just me, my little group, the nerds, and my bestfriend. Yet with all those people I was still depressed. I tried my best to get over it and believe me it was hard but I really tried. I got out of counselling and got put on anxiety/anti-depression pills. Before I was just on anti-depressants but these were both anxiety and anti-depressants in one pill. I got better ever so slowly. I still hated my body though, I started eating less, sometimes not eating at all, I did exercise, I weighed myself constantly. I was so obsessed with my appearance that I lost sight of what my friends thought of me. I started cutting again because I was to fat and I felt like a failure for not loosing any weight. One day in 8th grade my friends pulled me to the side at the end of class and talked to me. I remember they said that they were worried about me not eating and that when I do eat I would make an escape to the bathroom and stay in there for like 20mins with the water running. I realised that they actually cared about my health. I actually teared up hearing what they had to say about my condition. I told them everything. When I finished talking they all hugged me one by one, they loved me. I felt loved and cared about. I changed. And so did my bestfriend. We recovered together. We still get depressed sometimes but don't we all? Anyways, I'm somewhat happy now.

AUTHORS NOTE;

I realise that this is a crappy story but I thought that I'd just tell you guys a bit about my past with depression and stuff and I hope that you guys get something out of it. I love you so so so much and thank you all for reading❤️ stay happy and have a wonderful day/night