I Am (Not) Your Hero

18

Smite finally had come to terms with how little he cared about humans wellbeing. And it was freeing. Sure he did still enjoy being loved, and heroism was so deeply ingrained he didn't know what he'd do otherwise. Work in a warehouse or something? No...no this was what he was for. But the pressure was off.

He swooped by a burning building humming softly to himself, flying into it, gathering the citizens in his arms, hefting a baby onto his back, a cat on his head, before putting them down on the sidewalk and returning for seconds.

A shiver took over him. A want had begun to emerge. He glanced back, the last human, an old man in his arms. It was the bank. His eyes could not be torn from it. A bank that Starlette had robbed.

He smiled flying off, making a quick stop before going back home.

She sat on the couch, her eyes on the tv as it blared his exploits. He took the remote, and turned it off, throwing something next to her.

"If this is a sex thing remember you promised not to—" her fingers trembled, as she picked it up. "My suit?"

"I mean not your suit, I ripped that beyond repair, but a suit," he nodded at her. "So you can go steal when you want." He threw a car key on the couch too with a huge grin. "Just saved a used car dealer. He told me to pick whatever I wanted off the lot so."

She frowned and looked up at him skeptically. She folded the suit and sat it next to her, putting the keys on top. "What's the catch?"

He shrugged. "No catch, really. You're a criminal. And I'm a hero. So of course, if I catch you...well. I'll have catching you."

She smirked. "So this is just a cat and mouse came."

Smite licked his lips. "Each time I catch you, you owe me."

She scoffed. "That's not fair. You have powers."

"What did you tell me once? Life's not fair. Deal or die."

Her eyes widened. Right. Right, she had met him out of costume once. At some bar. She'd remarked then, how he reminded her of Smite.

He'd been watching her. A shiver passed over her. "You'll just use it to circumvent you promise not to make me—"

"I will not ask sexual favors. But I think...you won't like what I want. You'll probably prefer it be that simple,"

Star sighed. "Okay. G-give an example."

He nodded crossing his arms. "Tell me something about yourself. Something and formative. Something that you wouldn't be you if it didn't happen."

Her stomach dropped. Oh he was right. She would actually...much rather he just tell her to suck his cock than this. She didn't want him to know her.

"I don't want you to know me," she expressed with a limp shrug.

"I know you don't. But it's all I want. Tell me. For the car and the suit."

She pursed her lips. "When I was 4 years old, I was hungry. And my mother was passed out maybe she was sleep maybe she was blackout drunk I don't remember. And my uncle came over to watch me. So I kept asking him for bread. Over and over. Stored it behind a picture frame. Well he got on the phone and ignored me."

She stood, limping toward the kitchen, wrapping her hand around a knife, plucking an onion from the fridge. "And he did that for a few hours. Got drunk passed out. And I was alone. With two passed out adults. And I fed myself from my reserve of bread."

She cut the onion carefully. "And I realized that no one was there for me. No one was looking out for me. No one was going to take care of me and I was the only one who I could depend on. I had myself and absolutely no one else."

She raised her brows. "And I know that now—I realized it then. And it's good. Good that I am...aware—that I know that. I only have myself. There is no one who will save me. Not then, not now, not ever. That's my biggest issue with you, Smite. Why I was able to see through you."

She looked back at him, and it was like the death of universe. Every star in her eyes was gone, there was no glimmer no glow, no life in those deep dark eyes.

She smiled softly. "See, I was never naive enough to believe in heroes."

Smite swallowed roughly. "I feel... bad."

She quirked her brow, her face flat. "Oh?"

"In response to your anecdote I feel...not good feelings. Mh...like pain in my chest, and I want to hold it, my heart."

"You feel sorry for me," she turned around. "It's pity. You're experiencing pity. God you have the emotional intelligence of a fucking orange."

"Okay well now I'm a little pissed." He clenched his jaw.

She rolled her eyes. "Of course you know that one."

She turned back around, finishing chopping the onion.

He put his arms around her waist, resting his chin on her head.

"I am nothing. You have nothing."

"I have nothing because you burned my fucking apartment down," she intoned.

He blinked, pursing his lips. "Details, details."

"Important fucking details—"

"So we're alone in the world? You and me?"

She froze. "Yeah...guess so."

"What a frightening thought. Maybe that's why I can't bear to let you leave. I don't wanna be alone again."

She closed her eyes. "Yeah well everyone's alone. It's just most people go through their lives forcing themselves to believe that they're not. And I know better."

"Since you were 4?"

"...Yeah."

He smiled. "Not anymore. You're not alone now. You'll never be alone again."

And they were both aware it was not much of a comfort as much as a threat, and a promise. Because it didn't matter if he gave her a suit and car keys or even a plane. There was nowhere she could go that he could not and would not follow.

He kissed her cheek tenderly. "You know the mistake you made in the beginning? Not surrendering to me. Don't make the same mistake. You can teach me to make you happy and I will. Or you can fight against me. And it'll make me sad, but I'll crush you."

She swallowed roughly, her eyes on the backsplash of the kitchen.

She wanted to tell him that continuing to threaten her would not make her like him. That his violence would never be an obstacle she could surmount.

That she would never love him.

But he would probably just hurt her.

So instead she stared at the white tile of the backsplash, knife in hand, the onions finally making a tear fall down her cheek.

"Okay." She sighed.