I have been waiting for you (hyunlix)

It hurts seeing him hurt

**Felix pov

He was in a middle of a discussion with the raven boy sitting beside him ,Suddenly he felt a sudden vision changes and a severe headache, he just needed to get out of there in the instant feeling like vomiting , the hot weather in the forest made his condition even worse , he tried to act normal and walked away from the older boy without a proper goodbye, and he headed to the river without looking behind him.

After what it felt like hours of throwing up red vomit mixed with blood. Felix needed to freshen up before returning to the camp , he can't stand Chan hyung seeing him in this state.

Felix took his clothes off and he was enjoying the cold cristal clear water,until unexpectedly he heard someone approaching him.To his surprise it was Hyunjin.

The older stood there for ages like a statue. His intense stare sent a shiver to Felix 's already cold body. He looked so gorgeous standing under the sun like a Greek god. He heard some girls in the camp calling him the son of Aphrodite and he could only agree.

The blond boy was wondering why a gorgeous talented guy admired by all people would feel lonely and sad. Actually maybe he knows why...

It hurts him seeing the older hurt,

The raven beauty start calling his name with too much agony.

"Felix ! Still wanna hear my answer about your question earlier!, I'm gonna spill everything be ready !
I feel lonely Felix so damn lonely and lost like i have no purpose in life anymore, "

He caught him of guard, Hyunjin was fighting tears while closing the gap between them.

Felix 's heart just broke for him. He stayed right there speechless,His body urging him to run to the boy and hug him to ease his misery.

"I feel trapped lix,that i can't move on "the taller boy continued.

Felix stumbled getting out of the river, water dropping from his body. Hyunjin hugged him so tightly not minding him being soaking wet.

Felix wiped away the tears that starts running on his cheeks.
"It's okay Hyunjin, you're gonna be okay.There are some days where it's going to feel hard and you run into situations with yourself where you may deeply question your existence and your purpose. "

Hyunjin lied there in my arms , the older cried and he
was just there beside him.
Felix tried soothing the boy by caressing his back and time to time squeezing his hands so he would know that he was not alone , that someone understood.

"There are things in our lives that could trigger us to go into a downward spiral,getting into a conflict with someone you care about, someone , says something to highly criticize you, not getting the result you hoped on, having a day where everything just seems off, just to name a few. When you're not feeling okay, your energy levels could change and you get into a deeper rabbit hole with yourself."

The older cried even harder ,small sobs and whimpers erupted from his mouth.

"I can't tell you enough how many situations throughout my life where I've been affected by the actions of others that made me blame myself or if it was a situation outside of my control that made me see myself in a negative light. "

"You are ? H..how , he started, being interrupted with small hiccups. " its true that i just met you but from what i gathered and what Chan hyung have been telling us about you ,that you are surely one of the most joyful adored person i have ever met. I have never felt at ease around someone before."
Felix blushed furiously and chuckled " i wondered the same thing about you"
"I'm a person who's hard on himself and I've dealt with all kinds of hate, betrayal, unappreciation, and discouragement , just the worst feelings you can experience. I was not the man I am now because I almost had no great coping strategies for these feelings of anxiety but as I learned from others and found myself through a long journey of self-love and self-renewal, I was discovering little ways of how I shouldn't be that hard on myself."

"I tried lix , God knows i tried to cope with this feeling of loneliness. It's killing me"

Felix tightened his grip on the older's shoulders "One of the biggest reasons for feeling lonely, I think, is feeling misunderstood. Are there people in your life who make you feel this way?
"Y..yeah" Hyunjin took a huge breath and answered between sobs

"Stay away from them. If anyone makes you feel alone, disconnect yourself from them immediately.
Get at least one person who will understand you. In fact, one person is enough. Ironically, you can feel lonely with 100 people and yet not feel lonely with one special person. Make sure you can trust this person. You need someone who will listen to you. They don't even have to offer you any advice, or even say anything but simply be there as you rant or cry about life and the pain you feel about well, anything."

"Always remember, you are not alone"
After a comfortable silence, Hyunjin felt like he can breathe again,
"Would  you be that person?" Hyunjin calmed down and lifted his head from Felix's chest now his big hands caressing his face.

Felix was shocked to the core, and it didn't stop there the raven beauty whispered in his ear, "Can i kiss you,lix"

The Blond whispered back" Yes "and Hyunjin wasted no time and crushed his lips to Felix .

They were kissing like crazy. Like their lives depended on

Hyunjin tongue pressed between his parted lips battling madly for entrance.
His fingers gripped his long hair, pulling him closer. His veins throbbed and his heart exploded . Felix has never wanted anything like this before. Ever.

The kiss was full of frustration and sadness , he felt like the older was pouring his feelings into the kiss ,and oddly Felix didn't mind . He himself needed it he needed the confort the kiss gave him, he didn't care if the raven boy was using him to ease his pain, and then he will just leave him behind ,
Felix has been there before many times he lost count.
He was used to it by now ,he has been easily persuaded to listen to people's suffering, they always took advantage of his good nature and his empathy then seek his help so they can move on from their heartbreak ,and they just leave him like a dead battery when they feel better about themselves.
But for the first time Felix decided to be selfish and use the taller too.
His soft touch on my skin  is all he needed to take away the ache .

"never had anyone to hug me like this and I really needed a hug." The raven beauty whispered between kisses

That is literally one of the saddest things Felix has ever heard.

"No one ever hugged you? Your parents? Siblings? Friends?"

The taller only nodded. "Not like this"

"I'm so sorry, that is awful! I am hugging you right now the biggest, tightest, longest hug"

***
Hi !! hope this part is not so rushed, i had a-lot of things going on and I really wanted to update 2 chapters every week 🥹
i just shared with you what i felt last year, i was a miserable little creature, actually i didn't meet a sweet stranger like Felix to help me throw the process of healing, but for everyone suffering i wish you overcome your sadness and find a person that can help you move on

You will have me explaining many things in the next chapter so enjoy 😉