Today is March 12, a sunday afternoon. I had just died, I took my own life. I'm scared. It may seem kind of funny but I regret that I even did it. I was hoping it wouldn't work, why did I even initiate it in the first place if I didn't want to die you may ask? Well the thing is, I really didn't want to die, I just didn't want to feel miserable anymore, I wanted someone to notice it and help me, I didn't mean to die. I still miss being with the people I love, I miss petting my cats, I miss doing my hobbies even though I eventually gave up on everything, I miss making my coffee the way I like them, I miss the way she looks at me, I miss walking at the park, I miss feeling the cold breeze on my skin, I miss having a beating heart, I honestly just miss everything. Everytime I try to pick up my paintbrush, my hand just goes through it. Everytime I want to eat something, it just goes through me again. I can't even do anything as a ghost, I just walk through walls and observe everything happening. I just wish I didn't die.
Today is March 24, it's been 12 days after my death. I think I'm getting better at being a ghost, not that I like it but I'll just have to get used to it. I can't stand watching my loved ones cry over me while wishing that I was still alive, I want to hug them ever so tightly and tell them that I'm still here. I died, but I didn't pass, I don't know why. I lay in my bed and close my eyes for another day to pass, I just wish I didn't die.
Today is March 12, a sunday afternoon. I had just woken up. I go downstairs to do my daily ghost things and just roam around. My mom asked me if I wanted to eat lunch, I said yes of course, I was starvi- wait, my mom can see me? I asked her how could she see me, and she replied "how could I not?" I hugged her so tight apologizing for what I had done to myself, but she doesn't seem to know that I had died, which was strange because they already held the funeral and buried the coffin that I was in. I simply just told her that I was just in a good mood as to not freak her out. I ate the lunch that she made for me, savouring every bite. I did things that humans do! sucks that I can't go through walls, but this is all so much better than being a ghost. I didn't know when this dream will end but I knew that it wouldn't last forever, so I appreciated every moment and learned to let go of it. I've been a human again for a few hours now and I don't feel any regret, I had finally pet my cats again, did my hobbies, spent time with my loved ones, and ate as much as I could! I thanked everything and everyone, I was just thankful that I finally felt alive again, I am alive, my heart is beating and I can feel it. Perhaps this is the meaning of life? just simply being alive and living. I'm glad I didn't die.
Today is March 12, it's sunday evening. I already knew it coming, it was nice while it lasted. I had just died from a car crash. I wasn't scared now though, I think I can exist as a ghost with the memories I created in the past few hours before this, I'll be fine with that. I've learned to let go, I feel okay now. This time feels different though, now I'm not just a mere ghost roaming around and observing everyone, I had finally passed. I passed in peace, with my soul finally set free. This was all bound to happen, I was destined to die on this day. Maybe I was just trying to rush death with my soul not being complete; nevertheless, I've learned to let go now. I'm glad I lived.
